Checking In

It’s been a while since I last wrote. Although, there are a lot of drafts… I just never finish writing, and then things change…. bla bla bla…

Anyway, 2017 has been prety good so far. Work finally moved to the new office, and it’s awesome. The views are great, the atmosphere is great, and it is pretty awesome in general. There are two downsides (though nothing major); the first is the office temp. You’d think being surrounded by floor to ceiling glass that it’d be hot as balls, but it’s actually damn nippy in there. And this is coming from someone whose never owned a coat and wore shorts/skorts in the winter. Now a days, I’ll sit at my desk with my wool coat on! Who knows what summer is going to be like. The second is the location of the bathroom in relation to where my desk is. It’s a damn city block away! Like literally. While, the benefits of getting extra walking in outweigh the location… but, when you gotta go, that’s a hell of a long walk.

2017 has been good to us, so far. I think all of the sickness has made it’s course. All of us, except Amelia, caught something. The latest for me was Strep Throat, which hurt like hell. Thank goodness the antibiotics worked quickly.

We received our tax overpayment this past week and Greg and I had a shopping spree at IKEA. We got a whole new bedroom set, including a new mattress, new shelves and bookcases, rug, and other little things. Like, we spent $1500 – not including Greg’s employee discount (which is 15%) or the $420 in cash that we got back from the recalled dressers. It was a long weekend of moving heavy stuff up and down three flights of stairs. And, we still have stuff to put together. But, Greg and I are totally loving our new bedroom set. We got the Hemnes line – so everything is coodinates. I’ve never slept in a brand new bed; every bed I’ve slept in since I first moved away from home was a hand-me-down. Nothing wrong with them, and they lasted years.. decades even. But, we were ready for something that was “ours”. It’s truly the little things that can make you happy.

I’ve enrolled Sofia into soccer this season. It’s more of a fundamentals of soccer than an actual soccer league. She’s hella excited, as am I. And, Amelia has expressed interest as well… though, she’s thinking she and Sofia will be on the same team. Had to break it to her that that won’t be possible given their age difference. But, either way they’re both excited.

I’ve booked Greg’s 40th birthday cruise! We’re excited for this big vacation. It’s a long ways away.. like 399 days away! A lot of time to kill between now and then. In the mean time, we’re looking at spending a week in Ocean City, MD this summer. It’s been decades since I’ve spent more than 2 or 3 days in Ocean City, so this’ll be fun. I think the girls will enjoy it. We’re likely going to book with the Francis Scott Key Resort because it pretty much offers everything we want and need on-site. And, offers a shuttle to the beach which would save money, and time, on parking!

Well, that’s enough for a small catch-up for now.

One Hundred

In roughly 8 months, I have lost 100 pounds. Holy fuck, y’all.

it’s weird in that when I think about it, it doesn’t seem like a big deal, but when I mentioned it to my psychiatrist, his reaction was not what I expected. The psychiatrist was truly … appreciative?… in awe?… I can’t think of the word, but he said something along the lines about how I took this surgery seriously, and that I am/was determined, or dedicated, to the changes to be successful. There is a co-worker of his at the same office that had the surgery less than 2 weeks after I had mine, and she hasn’t been as successful as I have been with the weight loss. So, when I walked into the room last night for my appointment, his eyes widened in surprise in my appearance. He was truly impressed with my progress. I thanked him, but said I don’t really see the difference. Granted, I see myself every day, and he see’s me once every 3 months, give or take.

I will say, the weight loss has given me more confidence in myself when I approach people that I don’t know. For example, this past October I flew to Houston for a work event. The flight down had a stop in FL. During the stop, I decided to see if I could get a picture of the cockpit for my co-worker and Greg (they’re both aeronautical enthusiasts). Well, not only did I get a pic, the co-pilot invited me to sit in the pilots seat, put my hands on the yoke (which I wasn’t expecting at.all), and he offered to take a picture for me! I was completely blown away by the offer. And, once the picture was taken, I just sat there with the co-pilot and chatted for about 10-15 minutes asking a lot of questions, and sharing what little information I knew based on what Greg and my co-worker would talk about.


I sent the picture to Greg and my co-worker and they both responded with “that’s badass”. Honestly, I didn’t expect any of what occurred to be even a remote possibility; I was expecting to get a grumpy pilot/co-pilot who didn’t want to be bothered.  But, I think the confidence I had in myself to approach a complete stranger and engage in conversation about something that is their career helped me. It was a pretty awesome experience.

I’m now wearing a size 16/18 or a 1x. I went to Costco yesterday to get some laundry soap, and I was able to buy a pair of pants off the ‘rack’. Haven’t done that since high school (like freshman year). It’s still an adjustment to know that I can now fit, and buy, normal sized clothing.

I only have 20-ish pounds to loose to meet the surgeons goal of “70% of excess weight lost”. I don’t have a personal goal, as weird as that may sound. And, honestly, if I don’t loose any more weight, I’m happy where I am now. I’ve exceeded my expectation of how much I’d loose, realistically.




Greg Update

Greg is 3 weeks post-op and doing great… physically. He didn’t experience any of the pains I did post-surgery (except for the gas pains that radiate up into your neck and shoulders); I was a bit envious of his physical well-being. Greg has already lost nearly 30 pounds since surgery day! I think he might be doing better than me – when comparing the timeline – but men tend to loose weight faster than us anyway.

Mentally is where Greg really struggled. It’s hard to go three solid weeks without eating. The mind will drive you nuts thinking about food, chewing and tasting it. And, Greg also felt hunger pains, constantly. I felt bad for him; it had to be a lot harder than what I experienced since I didn’t feel hunger pains.

Now that Greg is 3 weeks post-op he’s now on the pureed stage, and is doing much, much better. So far, he’s been able to eat hummus, egg salad, refried beans, and cheese without any issues, and feels full much longer than when he was on liquids only. Also, Greg has adapted to the protein shakes… as in he likes their flavor!

Changes… they’re coming…

All systems are a go for the Greg! He had his final appointment with the surgeon this morning; they went over all of the paperwork, the results of all the tests, etc. and most importantly, the approval from the insurance company! In t-minus 10 days, Greg will have embarked on this amazing journey, and tool, to … whatever/where ever this leads him.

Greg has started his 2 week pre-op diet, and would you believe he’s already lost nearly 20 pounds?! He’s lost more, in one week, than I did during my 2 weeks! And, if this keeps going, he may weigh as much as I did at the time of surgery. Figures; the weight melts off him.

While I love my husband, and always will, regardless of how big he is, I know he’s going to turn some heads, and make some tongues wag when his weight starts to drop. My husband has some gorgeous long, curly hair, a great smile, amazing eyes, is tall, and the most caring, gentle, loving, and selfish-less person I know. I may just make him start wearing his wedding band so the ladies will know he’s taken!

I’m nearly 7 months post-op, and it’s just now sinking in that I feel ‘less’, as in there’s less of me. That people don’t see me for my size, but for who I am. That people don’t associate a stigma with me (lazy, bitchy, etc.). I don’t worry about the first impression I give knowing they’re not judging me based on my size (as the first thing they ‘see’). It’s an eye-opener, really. Oh, and shopping is something else. I was perusing through ModCloth and putting together a wishlist, and it was weird to have to not add items to my list because they didn’t have a size small enough for me. It’s the damnest thing to not be able to get something not because there isn’t a size big enough but because there isn’t a size small enough; who knew that would be possible!!

I’m excited about October; not only because of Greg’s surgery, but also because I am flying to Texas for work. And, this may sound petty, I want to see how the airline seatbelt’s fit. When we flew last year, to Disney, we had to ask for extenders. Now that I’ve lost nearly 100 pounds (only 6 more pounds to go!), I want to see how I fit.

Work… well, that’s going… yeah. Lots of transformation going on with our conversion to a new CRM, and the testing is going so smoothly (please note the sarcasm). I’ve been working nights, once the girls are in bed, to try and keep caught up. Tonight, I said “fuck it” and decided to write and goof off. Although, I didn’t really goof off because I cleaned the kitchen, made the girls lunches, did laundry, bathed the girls, etc.  I am actually looking forward to the week I am taking off as Greg recovers from the surgery. Although, I have a feeling I’ll be working during my vacation given how far behind the project is… but, that’s fine. This is a significantly large project, and I am the lead tester in Care, so this is getting me a lot of attention, skill sets, and networking opportunities. And, I’ll be meeting a lot of the people I work with (mainly through IM and phone calls) when I fly into Houston next month.

Speaking of changes… I am so loving this weather right now. I love the cool, drizzly mornings (and days for that matter). Listening to the breeze in the trees and the rain as it falls. I could live in the Northwest and love it. I keep telling Greg we should move to the west coast (Washington or Oregon); especially if his job has a transfer opportunity. One day we’ll make it over there.

Life is Full of Changes

Whew! There are some serious changes going on right now. For Greg and me!


  • I’m already down 87 pounds and it hasn’t even been 6 months since surgery! And, I’ve started to sell some of my clothes online to make room for new clothes. Can you believe that I am can now fit comfortably in a size 18?! Prior to surgery I was wearing a 24/26/28 in bottoms and 28/30 in tops (I’m bigger on the top than on the bottom); now, I’m wearing a 16/18 on top and a 18 on bottom! I can only imagine what size I’ll be when I reach my first ‘surgerversry’! This is exciting because my office is moving to Downtown at the end of the year and we’re expected to dress up (more than our current business casual), and I’ll finally be able to buy nice clothes and not pay three times as much because they’re plus size (which I find stupid anyway – the cost difference between a L and a 2X shouldn’t be twice). This is almost mind boggling to me. There are so many subtle changes that I’ve noticed, physically, that I didn’t think about before the surgery. Either way, I am enjoying this. I just need to get more active and start going back to the gym.
  • Work is starting to pick up in a big way. I’m going to be the lead in a pretty big project which is slightly terrifying and exciting at the same time. And, I’ll get to fly out to Houston in October, again. I had a blast last year and I plan on having fun this year.
  • My heath is pretty good. I no longer have type two diabetes; my A1C is well within normal range (not even close to ‘pre-diabetic’). Even my asthma is better… at the moment. I’m pretty sensitive to the weather, so earlier it was flaring up, but it’s calmed down a lot. My depression is being well managed now, and the perfectionism has been more prominent for the past month or two. Like, every night I wash, dry, and put away the clothes and towels that were used that day. It’s a bit crazy, I know.


  • Greg is enjoying the working life. He’s getting along with everyone, and everyone likes him! Everyone keeps telling him that he’s going to advance quickly, and I believe it.
  • Greg’s weight loss surgery is less than 2 months away! I’m so excited for him. I’ve already requested a week off to be home during his recovery period. That first 3 weeks is rough; there’s no actual eating – it’s all liquid – and you miss chewing and feeling food in your mouth. It was rough and I was so happy to begin the pureed stage.
  • Greg has freedom, finally! I can’t elaborate, but my persistence to getting things corrected has paid off. I can’t even begin to express how happy I am for him.

The girls are doing well. Amelia has started the 4th grade. I can’t believe she’ll be in middle school soon. Sofia is doing very well at daycare. I’m hoping to get Sofia into pre-k next year so she’ll be going to school with Amelia at the same time. Otherwise, I don’t think they’ll be in the same school at any other point in the future.

I am so ready for summer to be over, and for fall and winter to begin. I miss the cooler temperatures so much. Although, I don’t have any clothes for the cooler temperatures… nor a jacket (not that I wore a jacket any other time), but that can change soon.

Today, Monday 8/29/16, and tomorrow I am in a “UAT for the BA” training class. So far, it’s a bit repetitious, but that’s a good thing since I was kind of thrown into the UAT world. Plus, the more certifications I can earn, the more valuable I’ll be seen. Plus, it’s interesting and I’m learning a lot about the back-end of products.

Well, class is about to begin…

Summer Time

It’s already the summer of 2016. Yeesh. The years just go by faster and faster as you age (and have kids, and many other life related events).

This summer marks 5 years since Greg was laid off, our accident, and my uncles passing. So much has happened in the past 5 years; it’s hard to believe, sometimes, that it’s only been five years, or that five years have already passed. Ugh. Growing up is not fun (sometimes).

Amelia has spent a month with my Mom while Greg was in training. I’ll admit, it was kind of nice to be parents to only one child. And, I’m sure Sofia enjoyed all of the one on one time she had with Greg and me. But, it’s also nice to have Amelia back home… granted, I don’t miss the fighting. I swear, my brother and I didn’t fight as much as they do when we were their ages. I don’t know if it’s because they’re sisters, or the nearly 6 year age difference, but good grief!

This past weekend we celebrated my Mom’s 57th birthday. My brother and I spoiled Mom with crabs, shrimp, cold beers, and all other kinds of yumy foods. The weather was nice and hot, but not too humid. So, someone like me tolerated the outside temps easily. Amelia came home with us after the party, and she spent most of Sunday crying because she wanted to go back to Mom’s.

Today, Greg starts his new shift of 3:30pm-12:00am. He was excited and nervous all day today.It’s going to be an adjustment to the girls and me without Greg home in the evenings. I think more on Sofia than Amelia or myself. So, I’ve decided to treat the girls to dinner at Chick-fil-a this evening (once we go pick up Sofia).

I’m hoping to get out this summer with the girls. I know they’d love to go to the beach, or an amusement park. But, it’d likely be me taking them and I don’t know if I’m up to that task with the Maryland Summers we get. Maybe I’ll treat them to a movie here and there, and on Greg’s day off we’ll do a day trip to Ocean City, MD.

Oh, and guess what two illnesses I’ve had since the weight loss surgery! Shingles (yes, shingles!!) and now strep! I’m fearful of what else I may come down with… small pox, scarlet fever?

In WeightLoss News – i’m down to a size 16/18 (depending on matierial, cut, and manufacturer). I haven’t been this size since high school. How do I know? Mom, every time I visit (which has been on a weekly basis) asks me to try stuff on and see how it fits. I haven’t gone out to buy any new clothes, yet. But, it’s getting to the point that I need to. My shirts are too big, and my pants are falling off of me, literally. I’m surprised I’m still loosing weight. I kept reading that people experience stalls for months, and I haven’t (yet). I try to get to the gym… try. Now that Greg is out of training and working nights, I’m going to try and get into a new routine with the girls; gym maybe 2-3 nights a week and such.

Well, that’s all so far on the summer of 2016.



What’s New?

I’ve lost 60 pounds! Holy smokes, y’all. My clothes are too big, my bra’s are too big, even my underwear is too big. Yet, I haven’t gone shopping for new clothes because I hate spending money on myself; my psychiatrist thinks that’s unusual (me not spending money on clothes, etc.). Honestly, I don’t even know what size I am because I continue to wear my old clothes, and plan to do so until they’re literally falling off of me (in which case, they’re starting to do… I wore one of Greg’s belts yesterday for the first time). This whole weight-loss surgery has been a ‘hurry up and wait’ thing for me. I’m excited to see where it will take me, and I want to get there as soon as possible, but I know it’s going to take time.

Greg starts his new job in a couple of weeks. It’ll be an adjustment to him going back to work after nearly 5 years (since being laid off), but we’re both excited. His training is going to be 4 weeks long! Then, afterwards, we hope he gets the schedule he’s selected which he’ll be working a night shift (until midnight).

With Greg working, Sofia will be going to daycare full-time for the first time in her 3.5 years of life. Also, since the training is 4 weeks long, Amelia will be going to my Mom’s for a month.

My job has been going well. We’re going to be moving offices towards the end of the year. It’ll be weird with a new commute; I’ve been doing the current one for nearly 10 years! But, I’m excited about the new office. It’ll be in downtown Baltimore, right on the water, with amazing views and a lot of new amenities.

Amelia is graduating from the 3rd grade next week. Good grief time is flying by. I can’t believe she’s nearly 10 years old, and nearing the end of her years in elementary school. I soo don’t feel old enough to have a soon-to-be middle school-er. Not at all. Also, Amelia made honor roll this entire school year. So proud of her! She’s doing really well in math (probably better than me), and reading (she’s above grade level).

Sofia has finally graduated to big-girl status by being 100% in underwear. No more pull-ups and diapers for this gal! I’m so proud of her as well. Even at bedtime. And, we haven’t had a single accident in the past 3-4 weeks that she’s been wearing undies.

Greg has completed his final ‘step’ in terms of medical clearance for his turn at the surgery. We’re just waiting for his next appointment with the surgeon to schedule his date.

This summer is going to fly by. A lot of new changes and routines, and I can’t wait!

First Milestone

I am 11 days post-op and I’ve lost 20 pounds.

I set a small goal, of a specific weight, and I wouldn’t be be surprised if I don’t reach it by the end of April.

I weigh myself in the mornings before I get dressed (expect for the one day where it showed a 2 lbs gain — that was an evening weight), for a more ‘true’ number. 

I don’t really see much of a change in me, but Greg does. Although, I drove yesterday and I noticed my belly is nowhere near the bottom of the steering wheel; like, I can fit my arm inbetween the space. Also, it looks like all the weight loss has been in my belly (so far), so I guess I do notice a little.

My incisions are healing well and the pain is getting less and less. I can finally sleep without fear of popping opening one of the incisions.

I am going back to work on Monday. It’ll be an adjustment; worse than when I returned from having Sofia. But, I’m ready.

Did I Do That

Holy shit! 

I really did it. I had the gastric sleeve done.

I’m home now, after 2 days in the hospital. I hurt. Not as bad as I did on day 1, but no where near normal.


Gettin’ Old

It’s my birthday!

I’ve been celebrating my birthday since last Friday. My Mom took the girls for an overnight stay, so Greg and I got to go out on a date (I had a gift card to a restaurant) and it was so nice to just get out and not have to stress about the girls.

On Saturday, I left Greg behind and went to hang out with my Mom and girls. My Mom picked up one of my favorite steaks, a T-bone!, and made her best meatballs and sauce (for me to take home for lunches), and I got to cook dinner on the grill. Then, the girls made me a pistachio pudding pie!

On Sunday, my girlfriend, Michele, drove down and took me out to lunch and drinks at Cheesecake Factory. Then, we wondered (Read: Walked off the drinks and cheesecake) around the mall. After walking off our meal, we went to get our eyebrows waxed, and wondered around Target. We did a lot of wondering. She kept me busy for nearly 6 hours. It was a good visit, though. We always have a great time catching up.

Today, I took the day off from work. I had scheduled an appointment for Amelia (and us, really) with a child psychiatrist. Greg and I feel we need help with some things. It was a good visit, and we have a plan in action and I think we’ll do some family therapy. After the appointment, we took Amelia to school and came home. I took an epic nap with Sofia (it was awesome), then once Amelia was home and all of her homework was done (and checked), we went out to dinner to… Chuck E Cheese! This was a surprise for the girls, since we were planning on doing this for Amelia on her birthday, but that’s when Greg injured his ankle.

The girls had a great time, and that’s all that I wanted for my birthday.