Fun! Another busy morning at work!!! I love it when we’re short staffed; makes my days so entertaining!
Last night was interesting. Greg and I had a talk. We talked about a ‘problem’. I warned him, though, that tonight might not be the best night to get into any type of discussion because I am about to start my cycle and my emotions are out of balance. Greg wanted to talk about why I get upset if he has to stay late for work. I told him that the whole reason he was to come over on Mon and Wed was to help with Amelia, so that I get some ‘time off’ of the responsibilities. Yet, if he has to stay late for work, then he’s not really helping me and what is the point of driving all the way over if the help I needed is no longer needed and he replied “to be with you”. I told him that I am afraid that once we’re living together that I still won’t be seeing him as much and that he’ll only spend time with Amelia on the weekends, when he’s not working. In all, Greg wants me to understand that if he has work to do that requires him to stay past 6pm, he’s going to be late. I told him that I understood that, BUT, if you tell me that you’re leaving at a specific time, like 6:30, then I am expecting you to be home within a certain time frame, knowing and understanding that there was work that kept you late, BUT if you don’t leave at a time you told me you were, then I become upset.
In the end, Greg felt that I wasn’t appreciating his efforts, which isn’t true, and I told him it feels like I’m doing this alone. I know this is a busy time of year for him and I know he isn’t working nearly as much over time as he used to. But, at the same time, it still feels like I am doing this, being with Amelia, alone while he still has his full ‘day off’ on Sundays and the rest of the week when he’s not over at my place. He can still do all the things he wants without having to take care of a 5 month old. He doesn’t have to wait to eat, clean, talk on the phone, use the computer, take a shower, etc., where as I HAVE to wait until Amelia is asleep before I can do half of the things I want to do. And, usually, by the time she’s finally fallen asleep, I’ve lost all motivation to even do much of anything. I need Greg to be on time and help in order for me to feel like I am getting anything accomplished. This past Sunday was great! I did so much in my room and I felt GREAT!
All is well between Greg an me. At the end of the night, he told me that it feels really good, to him, to be able to talk about ‘items’ on his mind, rather than ‘bite his tongue’ and pretend everything is ok when it’s not, as he has done with past relationships.
After our conversation, Greg and I watched Hells Kitchen. Greg is completely hooked on this show! And, this Wednesday, a new season of Top Chef starts on Bravo! Greg is really excited about this show as well. So far, I’ve turned Greg onto Scrubs, Heros, Hells Kitchen, Top Chef, Deal or No Deal (though we don’t watch that show anymore), and a few more I can’t remember at this moment. Granted, there are some shows that Greg and I don’t enjoy together, such as America’s Got Talent. Greg can’t stand this show, and I could do without watching Modern Marvels (although, I will admit some of the episodes are interesting, but not enough to keep me a regular viewer).
Once Hells Kitchen was over, Greg and I went upstairs to lay in bed. We didn’t turn the TV on or anything. We talked. And, did ‘other’ things. During the talking, I asked Greg if he feels we’d make it if we did marry each other. He, as well as I do, feels that we would. Especially since we are very open with each other and talk to each other when something is bothering us. But, I probed some more ,and asked what if after two years we realize we’re not able to work out together, and Greg stated that we would know by now if we were going to make it or not; which is true. Greg and I have been friends for nearly 2 years (the ‘anniversary’ is Aug. 20, 2005) and if we didn’t get along, then we wouldn’t be where we are today.
Greg is the first person I’ve ever truly wanted to be with for the rest of my life. I can not imagine life without Greg. I get excited and giddy when I think about the future with Greg, such as trips, buying our first house together, extending our family, and much more. I’ve even started to ‘daydream’ about our wedding. I know I’ve said that I don’t want a big, traditional, or anything close to a ‘normal’ wedding, but now I think I’ve changed my mind. Sorta. I’m thinking something small and close to home. I don’t know if I want a wedding dress, at this time, or the traditonal brides maid and groomsmen, but I do think I want an event of some sort. Anyway, that’s way in the future. Right now, I’m most eager about the engagement and how he’s going to propose me. I’ve sent Greg pictures of rings that I’ve found of interest when ever I go to a mall or some place similar. I don’t want anything too big, a half carat would be ideal. I like simple and unique designs. So, I’m pretty easy to please.
One thing at a time for now. First was the new car, now we have the move and adjustment. Then, maybe a few months down the road, will be the proposal.