This morning has started off pretty slow, which is nice because it gave me time to catch up on minor work details and banking (to which I saw that my account is in the negative due to an automatic withdrawal from the IRS for my tax payment that I forgot was set up and this is the second time it’s happened). On the plus side, I calculated an estimate of what my October (to date) commission check could be and it was nniiccee; just as much if not a little more (again, to date) than September’s commission. And, I just looked at the November calendar and the 23rd is a pay day and also Black Friday (a company paid day off as well) and I can shop till my hearts delight with my big ass commission check! Oh yeah!! I’ve looked at the Black Friday ads websites and there isn’t much listed, yet. I am getting really excited about Christmas and all the shopping I’ll be able to do for Greg and Amelia and my friends and family as well as creating the holiday card to mail out to everyone.
Today has been really uneventful; I’m not used to all this ‘down time’ – don’t get me wrong, the down time is nice but harder to adjust to than being constantly busy.
All this down time has allowed my mind to wonder and think about things that I normally wouldn’t think about (I think). I’ve been wondering if I am being selfish in regard to the relationship that Greg and I have. Greg pulls more than his fair share of the responsibilities of being a parent and a lover, or so it seems. I become frustrated, at times, that Greg rarely takes Amelia to daycare or picks her up. I have asked him to do this task but he tells me that he doesn’t want to (and there are other reasons to this than just because he doesn’t want to) which makes me feel that he isn’t being ‘fair’, as well as, not washing her bottles each night. Yet, Greg does more of the ‘little things’, such as changing her diaper more often than me, dressing her in the morning, giving her the baths (unless we decide to wash her in the shower which I usually do with me), carries Amelia up or down the stairs, plus he’s gets up at night when she wakes and begins to fuss, he always takes the trash out and carries all the groceries in when we go shopping, and he makes my lunch, as well as his, each morning while I feed Amelia her breakfast. It seems that I’m bitching over two minor tasks and it looks like Greg does more for Amelia and me than I do for Amelia and him. That is why I feel like I am being selfish. I don’t particularly like this feeling because it then makes me feel guilty. Eh, this could all be brought on by the change in hormones since I am on the last week of active pills… You know, it annoys me (slightly) that I ‘blame’ all these ‘things’ on the birth control but I honestly feel that is the cause and that I may not have these feelings if I wasn’t on birth control. But, I am not willing to take that risk to find out… I know… bitch about something that you’re not willing to change…
Last night as Greg and I were cooking dinner together and he was telling me about his uber busy day at work he mentioned that he had a few minutes to look at some ‘things’ online. At first he was being coy about it and I was playing along then he confirmed that he did a little ring shopping and that he found a ring that he liked until he saw the nearly $6K price tag. I just laughed at him. Then he asked if I wanted to see the ring and I said sure. It was a nice ring with no blemishes when it comes to the four “C’s” but it didn’t stand out for me. So, I went onto The Knot’s website (again) and showed him (again) the rings that I found of interest. Greg partially paid attention due to Journeyman being on.
To go off subject here, I remember thinking last night when Greg and I were talking about the events of the day and other items that how nice it is to be together and just talk. We didn’t have the TV on, Amelia was already asleep (though she woke up later – around 7:45pm) and that we were together. We were spending time together without any distractions and we were connecting. It’s hard to explain what I’m trying to share but if you know what I mean then you can relate to what I’m trying to explain and understand that it is something hard to describe (or maybe it’s just me).
Now onto something completely different, I am looking forward to this weekend. My girlfriend, Michele, is coming into town and she and her ‘friend’ Bobby are treating Greg and me (along with Amelia) out to dinner at our new favorite restaurant, Ho – So much fun! And on Sunday, Greg’s Mom informed us that she is going to visit and check out the condo! I love having guests over.
Have I mentioned how excited I am about Christmas being right around the corner? I’ve already begun compiling my list of gift ideas for everyone!
Well, it’s taken me all day, again, to write so I am going to conclude this entry and just focus on the tabloid magazines.