I was in a foul mood today. The fact that it was a Friday AND pay day did not improve my mood.
My mood hasn’t improved much since coming home.
As soon as I came home I opened the mail (received a new credit card offer – pass – and new insurance cards since I’ve added Amelia to my insurance plan (because my plan was cheaper than Gregs)) and then made the bed and started to pack Amelia’s over night bag. I pretty much wanted to be alone; that’s not going to happen.
I’m starting to reconsider the pill. It’s really causing me to have some pretty strong, unexpected, mood swings. And, what’s worse is that I don’t know if this month, or the next month, is going to have any effect on me. Everything, emotionally, is unpredictable. Some months I get so emotional, depressed, and/or overreact to small things (focused at Greg) and the such; then there are the months where I don’t have any ‘side effects’. This unpredictability is eating at me and at somethings (mentally – I guess) that I need to let go. Its just that there aren’t really many other alternatives to birth control that I am comfortable with; condoms are out because I am hyper sensitive to all kinds (even the lamb skin); not too keen on the shot/implants due to the severe bleeding for the first few weeks (been there done that with the birth control patch); also not too keen on the IUD, even though they’re flexible plastic vs the metal ones, I fear it will fall out and I’ve been told it hurts like a mother when/if that happens; I’ve seen the commercials for the NuvaRing and some other product that can last as long as 5 years, but I am unable to find any information – waiting to see a commercial for it… anyway, I am hesitant about the NuvaRing and any and all things ‘insertable’ into the vajaja – I just don’t like sticking things ‘up there’ and the having to remove them later; I’m not one to poke and prod around that area of my body. Plus, have you seen the size of the NuvaRing, it’s huge (in my eyes)! I seriously doubt my vajaja is thatbig, even after passing a baby through there. I can’t fathom how that, the NuvaRing, stays in and feels comfortable to someone; I don’t even use tampons because I can’t stand feeling them in there. And what’s more never wracking about these products is that they could cause missed periods, or even no periods, the first few months! I, along with Greg, would be too paranoid to have sex if that were the case. But, I can’t bitch and complain about something if I’m not willing to make a change. I guess I should call and make an appointment with my doc next week (need my annual anyway) and discuss the options best for me. Joy. I can’t wait.