I’ve spent my lunch hour re-reading my past blog entries… going all the way back to 2005.
It feels weird to comprehend all that i’ve experienced over the past five years: the death of my aunt; living on my own; seperating from my ex; quitting a job of 5 years to start at a job i have no experience in; the boys I dated; meeting Greg; pregnancy; child birth and the events after; falling in-love; moving in with Greg; getting my divorce from the ex; planning a wedding and then deciding to just elope; turning 30; and now I can add going back to school and expanding my family.
What’s weird is that it doesn’t feel like five years have passed. To me, all of the events above could have occured yesterday because I have detailed and vivid memories of them all.
Maybe it’s the weather, but today my mood seems to be a bit… damp; somewhat along the lines of reminiscing of the past and feeling the emotions from that point in time. Not that the feelings are bad, as in bitter, but rather melancholy.
Also, as I reminisce over the past five years I tend to wonder ‘what if’ situations; what if I remained married to my ex – where would I be right now, would I be as happy as I am, would I be a mother is just an example.
Then I begin to think about all the decisions I made and if there are any I would take back if I could or do if I had the chance again.
Life, as they say, is about choices – some easy and some hard. Personally, I feel that the choices I’ve made, the good and easy as well as the diffult and bad, were the correct choices and have brought me to where I am today.