Checking In

It’s been a while since I last wrote. Although, there are a lot of drafts… I just never finish writing, and then things change…. bla bla bla…

Anyway, 2017 has been prety good so far. Work finally moved to the new office, and it’s awesome. The views are great, the atmosphere is great, and it is pretty awesome in general. There are two downsides (though nothing major); the first is the office temp. You’d think being surrounded by floor to ceiling glass that it’d be hot as balls, but it’s actually damn nippy in there. And this is coming from someone whose never owned a coat and wore shorts/skorts in the winter. Now a days, I’ll sit at my desk with my wool coat on! Who knows what summer is going to be like. The second is the location of the bathroom in relation to where my desk is. It’s a damn city block away! Like literally. While, the benefits of getting extra walking in outweigh the location… but, when you gotta go, that’s a hell of a long walk.

2017 has been good to us, so far. I think all of the sickness has made it’s course. All of us, except Amelia, caught something. The latest for me was Strep Throat, which hurt like hell. Thank goodness the antibiotics worked quickly.

We received our tax overpayment this past week and Greg and I had a shopping spree at IKEA. We got a whole new bedroom set, including a new mattress, new shelves and bookcases, rug, and other little things. Like, we spent $1500 – not including Greg’s employee discount (which is 15%) or the $420 in cash that we got back from the recalled dressers. It was a long weekend of moving heavy stuff up and down three flights of stairs. And, we still have stuff to put together. But, Greg and I are totally loving our new bedroom set. We got the Hemnes line – so everything is coodinates. I’ve never slept in a brand new bed; every bed I’ve slept in since I first moved away from home was a hand-me-down. Nothing wrong with them, and they lasted years.. decades even. But, we were ready for something that was “ours”. It’s truly the little things that can make you happy.

I’ve enrolled Sofia into soccer this season. It’s more of a fundamentals of soccer than an actual soccer league. She’s hella excited, as am I. And, Amelia has expressed interest as well… though, she’s thinking she and Sofia will be on the same team. Had to break it to her that that won’t be possible given their age difference. But, either way they’re both excited.

I’ve booked Greg’s 40th birthday cruise! We’re excited for this big vacation. It’s a long ways away.. like 399 days away! A lot of time to kill between now and then. In the mean time, we’re looking at spending a week in Ocean City, MD this summer. It’s been decades since I’ve spent more than 2 or 3 days in Ocean City, so this’ll be fun. I think the girls will enjoy it. We’re likely going to book with the Francis Scott Key Resort because it pretty much offers everything we want and need on-site. And, offers a shuttle to the beach which would save money, and time, on parking!

Well, that’s enough for a small catch-up for now.

Life is Full of Changes

Whew! There are some serious changes going on right now. For Greg and me!

Me:

  • I’m already down 87 pounds and it hasn’t even been 6 months since surgery! And, I’ve started to sell some of my clothes online to make room for new clothes. Can you believe that I am can now fit comfortably in a size 18?! Prior to surgery I was wearing a 24/26/28 in bottoms and 28/30 in tops (I’m bigger on the top than on the bottom); now, I’m wearing a 16/18 on top and a 18 on bottom! I can only imagine what size I’ll be when I reach my first ‘surgerversry’! This is exciting because my office is moving to Downtown at the end of the year and we’re expected to dress up (more than our current business casual), and I’ll finally be able to buy nice clothes and not pay three times as much because they’re plus size (which I find stupid anyway – the cost difference between a L and a 2X shouldn’t be twice). This is almost mind boggling to me. There are so many subtle changes that I’ve noticed, physically, that I didn’t think about before the surgery. Either way, I am enjoying this. I just need to get more active and start going back to the gym.
  • Work is starting to pick up in a big way. I’m going to be the lead in a pretty big project which is slightly terrifying and exciting at the same time. And, I’ll get to fly out to Houston in October, again. I had a blast last year and I plan on having fun this year.
  • My heath is pretty good. I no longer have type two diabetes; my A1C is well within normal range (not even close to ‘pre-diabetic’). Even my asthma is better… at the moment. I’m pretty sensitive to the weather, so earlier it was flaring up, but it’s calmed down a lot. My depression is being well managed now, and the perfectionism has been more prominent for the past month or two. Like, every night I wash, dry, and put away the clothes and towels that were used that day. It’s a bit crazy, I know.

Greg:

  • Greg is enjoying the working life. He’s getting along with everyone, and everyone likes him! Everyone keeps telling him that he’s going to advance quickly, and I believe it.
  • Greg’s weight loss surgery is less than 2 months away! I’m so excited for him. I’ve already requested a week off to be home during his recovery period. That first 3 weeks is rough; there’s no actual eating – it’s all liquid – and you miss chewing and feeling food in your mouth. It was rough and I was so happy to begin the pureed stage.
  • Greg has freedom, finally! I can’t elaborate, but my persistence to getting things corrected has paid off. I can’t even begin to express how happy I am for him.

The girls are doing well. Amelia has started the 4th grade. I can’t believe she’ll be in middle school soon. Sofia is doing very well at daycare. I’m hoping to get Sofia into pre-k next year so she’ll be going to school with Amelia at the same time. Otherwise, I don’t think they’ll be in the same school at any other point in the future.

I am so ready for summer to be over, and for fall and winter to begin. I miss the cooler temperatures so much. Although, I don’t have any clothes for the cooler temperatures… nor a jacket (not that I wore a jacket any other time), but that can change soon.

Today, Monday 8/29/16, and tomorrow I am in a “UAT for the BA” training class. So far, it’s a bit repetitious, but that’s a good thing since I was kind of thrown into the UAT world. Plus, the more certifications I can earn, the more valuable I’ll be seen. Plus, it’s interesting and I’m learning a lot about the back-end of products.

Well, class is about to begin…

What’s New?

I’ve lost 60 pounds! Holy smokes, y’all. My clothes are too big, my bra’s are too big, even my underwear is too big. Yet, I haven’t gone shopping for new clothes because I hate spending money on myself; my psychiatrist thinks that’s unusual (me not spending money on clothes, etc.). Honestly, I don’t even know what size I am because I continue to wear my old clothes, and plan to do so until they’re literally falling off of me (in which case, they’re starting to do… I wore one of Greg’s belts yesterday for the first time). This whole weight-loss surgery has been a ‘hurry up and wait’ thing for me. I’m excited to see where it will take me, and I want to get there as soon as possible, but I know it’s going to take time.

Greg starts his new job in a couple of weeks. It’ll be an adjustment to him going back to work after nearly 5 years (since being laid off), but we’re both excited. His training is going to be 4 weeks long! Then, afterwards, we hope he gets the schedule he’s selected which he’ll be working a night shift (until midnight).

With Greg working, Sofia will be going to daycare full-time for the first time in her 3.5 years of life. Also, since the training is 4 weeks long, Amelia will be going to my Mom’s for a month.

My job has been going well. We’re going to be moving offices towards the end of the year. It’ll be weird with a new commute; I’ve been doing the current one for nearly 10 years! But, I’m excited about the new office. It’ll be in downtown Baltimore, right on the water, with amazing views and a lot of new amenities.

Amelia is graduating from the 3rd grade next week. Good grief time is flying by. I can’t believe she’s nearly 10 years old, and nearing the end of her years in elementary school. I soo don’t feel old enough to have a soon-to-be middle school-er. Not at all. Also, Amelia made honor roll this entire school year. So proud of her! She’s doing really well in math (probably better than me), and reading (she’s above grade level).

Sofia has finally graduated to big-girl status by being 100% in underwear. No more pull-ups and diapers for this gal! I’m so proud of her as well. Even at bedtime. And, we haven’t had a single accident in the past 3-4 weeks that she’s been wearing undies.

Greg has completed his final ‘step’ in terms of medical clearance for his turn at the surgery. We’re just waiting for his next appointment with the surgeon to schedule his date.

This summer is going to fly by. A lot of new changes and routines, and I can’t wait!

First Milestone

I am 11 days post-op and I’ve lost 20 pounds.

  
I set a small goal, of a specific weight, and I wouldn’t be be surprised if I don’t reach it by the end of April.

I weigh myself in the mornings before I get dressed (expect for the one day where it showed a 2 lbs gain — that was an evening weight), for a more ‘true’ number. 

I don’t really see much of a change in me, but Greg does. Although, I drove yesterday and I noticed my belly is nowhere near the bottom of the steering wheel; like, I can fit my arm inbetween the space. Also, it looks like all the weight loss has been in my belly (so far), so I guess I do notice a little.

My incisions are healing well and the pain is getting less and less. I can finally sleep without fear of popping opening one of the incisions.

I am going back to work on Monday. It’ll be an adjustment; worse than when I returned from having Sofia. But, I’m ready.

“That’s not how it works”

We’ve all seen that auto insurance commercial where the old(er) lady states “That’s not how it works”, right? Well, that’s pretty much how today went.

The day started off well. Amelia woke up excited that, as of 7:59am, she is officially a 9 year old girl. Her final year in a single digit age.

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I went off to work, made it on time, and left at 11:30am. Greg went to the gym, stopped at the store to pick up cupcakes for me to take to Amelia’s school. I took the cupcakes to the school, had lunch with Amelia’s class (everyone was excited to see cupcakes; one classmate even gave me a hug). After Amelia’s lunch, I came home, ran the dishwasher, and took a small nap. Well, I started to take a nap. Greg was on his way out the door to get some balloons for Amelia while Sofia was napping, but Sofia ended up waking up earlier than expected.

Greg took his time getting balloons ’cause he ended up going to Target to get Amelia an additional gift. See, we bought Amelia her first laptop. Costco had a good price, and since my MacBook isn’t working at the moment (it’s actually the keyboard that isn’t working), we decided it was time. Additionally, Amelia has been asking to play Minecraft for months, so we figured, again, it was time. Well, we got the laptop this past Saturday and she played with it on Sunday and loves it. So, Greg went to buy some Minecraft books for her today.

We had a surprise planned. Amelia didn’t know I took the afternoon off, so we were going to surprise her at the bus stop, and then take her to Chuck E Cheese for dinner. Well, that didn’t happen. Greg, Sofia, and I were heading to the car to meet Amelia at the bus stop when Greg fell and hurt his ankle/foot. I was afraid he broke it. Greg was in so much pain he was shaking. So, I help Greg up and into the car. We pick up Amelia from the bus stop and head to the E.R. at North Arundel Hospital Baltimore-Washington Medical Center (still not the best hospital, but better than urgent care). Nearly four hours later we leave with Greg in a support boot and crutches. Greg was advised that he cannot drive for a few days, to try an not walk too much on the foot, and to follow-up with an orthopedic doctor.

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Greg is bummed. Amelia was a bit upset that the rest of her birthday was spent at the hospital; she understood it was an accident and all, but still… it’s you’re birthday! I get it, kid. I do.

So, when we finally made it home. I helped get Greg comfy, get the girls bathed and dressed for bed, and let Amelia play Minecraft. Then, I ran out to Walgreens to fill Greg’s pain medicine. I also informed my boss that I won’t be in tomorrow due to Greg’s accident, and allow him to at least get on day of rest. Plus, since it’s Greg’s right foot and he can’t drive with the boot on, I will probably be taking Amelia to the bus stop all week.

For now, Greg is playing Minecraft while passing the time until his next pain pill. I keep telling him that he doesn’t want to feel pain, so he has to stay on schedule with the medicine.

 

2016 Already?

Geez, time is flying by too fast. This year marks 20 years since Greg graduated from high school! 20 freaking years! I don’t feel old enough to say 20 years has passed for any milestone.

Yet, 9 years ago tonight I was in labor. My water broke at 6pm and my Mom drove me to the hospital. When I was checked, and confirmed my water did indeed break, I was already 2cm dilated. Within 13 hours I was going to meet my baby girl.

Amelia is turning 9 years old. And, every year (just about) I write how I can’t believe how old she’s turning. And, every year it’s true. I don’t feel old enough to have a nearly 10 year old kid. In my heart (and mind), I’m still 27. And, it seems I’ll forever feel that way (all the while thinking it’s only 1997). 27 was a big age. I had a kid. I got the man of my dreams. Moved three times with a baby. Bought my first financed car. A lot of big things happened when I was 27.

When Greg and I were engaged and planning our wedding, I befriend a lot of other ladies doing the same. Recently, I noticed that a lot of those friends have divorced. It made me look at my relationship with Greg and how ours differs from others; even my first marriage. And, I am thankful that Greg and I have each other and that we can be who we are without judgement. Granted, our marriage hasn’t been easy and we’ve had a lot of challenges – many that I knew about before we became parents and then husband and wife – but, the one constant that has been in our relationship is support and love. Greg supports me and the events going on in my life; whether they’re positive or negative. And, while sometimes I may not agree with how Greg is handling something, I support him. I also tell him what I think could be improved upon, and he’ll listen, but it’s the open communication we have that allows us to support each other.

2016 is going to have a lot of changes. Not sure on all of the changes, but things have already been set into motion. First, I’ve been taking an anti-depressant for about a month and I finally feel better (somewhat). I definitely don’t feel as ‘broken’ as I did before, and I am able to handle stressful moments a lot better. There’s still some work in progress, as a family, to be more balanced. But, that’s all to come as well. I’ve made an appointment for Amelia to see a child psychologist for some things. Amelia can be a bit much, and it’s more than just ‘normal’ stuff. I mentioned this to the psychologist and he suggested she come in and I agreed. I told Greg and he agreed as well. We’ve talked, off an on, about seeing a family therapist, but wasn’t sure how that would work with two difference insurances. I’m glad, though, that we finally have something scheduled. And, I suggested, to Greg, that it couldn’t hurt if we met as a couple with a psychiatrist. The doc felt so, as well, since Greg is on an anti-depressant, too.

Secondly, I have my weight loss surgery scheduled in March. It’s tentative, at the moment, since my ‘case’ hasn’t been submitted to the insurance company just yet. But, the doc’s office doesn’t see any reason why there wouldn’t been a rejection. I’m excited and a bit freaked out about this surgery. The exciting part is the changes that will occur; I’ll loose weight, finally, and keep it off. The ‘freaked out’ part is that I am permanently altering my stomach; there’s no going back once this is done. My Mom is excited that I’m made this decision. Greg, while supportive of my choice, was initially against it for himself. However, the idea has warmed up to him (which, I believe is in part to his anti-depressants), and depending on how it goes with me, he’s even willing to consider it for himself. In the meantime, Greg has been going to the gym three days a week and has changed his eating habits, including a drastic reduction in soda consumption. Granted, Greg and I drink diet soda only, soda was our ‘addition’. Since Greg has been on his anti-depressants, his soda consumption has decreased; he just doesn’t desire it anymore. The same is starting to affect me. I used to drink about 4-5 cans of soda a day (along with about 50-60 ounces of water), now I may have 1-2 cans of soda. I just don’t desire them like I used to.

Third, the office is moving. This won’t occur until the end of the year, but it’s still a big change. Additionally, we’re moving into a brand new building in downtown Baltimore (it’s still under construction)! I see this move as an opportunity for networking, and hopefully, advancement. The new environment will require me to dress professionally, which I am somewhat excited about since I’ll have a new body to dress.

It’s getting late. I’ll finish up another time.

 

Change and Determination

2015 is going to be THE year of changes.
I know it is and I am determined to make sure it will be.

I have three goals this year:

Financial
Health
Career

Financial: as of today, I do not have any credit card debt. The only credit card debt in my name are the two cards that Greg and I share, but are under his name. My goal is for Greg and I to get pre-approved for a mortgage in 2015. My credit score took a massive hit this past summer and I’m going to rebuild my score as quickly as possible as well as start contributing to my savings account again.

Health: I’ve decided that I want to work on my health. The depression has had enough controller over the past two years that I am now going to take it back.  I am a person that enjoys group exercises and Zumba is looking more interesting as well as other group activities. In addition to beating this depression, I want to build up my endurance for the every day things; I’m tired of feeling tired and lazy. Healthy eating… well, I like my meats and potatoes. I’ll work on incorporating more veggies in my snacks and meals. But, must do so in baby steps.

Career: this will be the biggest challenge for me. I’ve become comfortable in my current role, though unhappy. I’m ready for a change in responsibilities and or role altogether but I lack confidence in my abilities. I suck at interviews because I just can’t sell myself. I’d rather tell potential employers that I’d rather my work speak for me. I want prove that I can do the job instead of saying I can do it.

I’ve taken a break on classes (only missed last fall) and I’m only 35 credits shy of graduating with a bachelor degree. I can do this! And, I know that having a degree will aid in my job hunt. Also, I’m going to reach out to the university for career development and help me work on my interview skills as well as where I can best apply my education and work experience to get me the career I want. 

I’m excited about this path and goals for 2015. Knowing me, I just hope I can keep myself motivated and pumped!

What are your goals for 2015?