Geez, time is flying by too fast. This year marks 20 years since Greg graduated from high school! 20 freaking years! I don’t feel old enough to say 20 years has passed for any milestone.
Yet, 9 years ago tonight I was in labor. My water broke at 6pm and my Mom drove me to the hospital. When I was checked, and confirmed my water did indeed break, I was already 2cm dilated. Within 13 hours I was going to meet my baby girl.
Amelia is turning 9 years old. And, every year (just about) I write how I can’t believe how old she’s turning. And, every year it’s true. I don’t feel old enough to have a nearly 10 year old kid. In my heart (and mind), I’m still 27. And, it seems I’ll forever feel that way (all the while thinking it’s only 1997). 27 was a big age. I had a kid. I got the man of my dreams. Moved three times with a baby. Bought my first financed car. A lot of big things happened when I was 27.
When Greg and I were engaged and planning our wedding, I befriend a lot of other ladies doing the same. Recently, I noticed that a lot of those friends have divorced. It made me look at my relationship with Greg and how ours differs from others; even my first marriage. And, I am thankful that Greg and I have each other and that we can be who we are without judgement. Granted, our marriage hasn’t been easy and we’ve had a lot of challenges – many that I knew about before we became parents and then husband and wife – but, the one constant that has been in our relationship is support and love. Greg supports me and the events going on in my life; whether they’re positive or negative. And, while sometimes I may not agree with how Greg is handling something, I support him. I also tell him what I think could be improved upon, and he’ll listen, but it’s the open communication we have that allows us to support each other.
2016 is going to have a lot of changes. Not sure on all of the changes, but things have already been set into motion. First, I’ve been taking an anti-depressant for about a month and I finally feel better (somewhat). I definitely don’t feel as ‘broken’ as I did before, and I am able to handle stressful moments a lot better. There’s still some work in progress, as a family, to be more balanced. But, that’s all to come as well. I’ve made an appointment for Amelia to see a child psychologist for some things. Amelia can be a bit much, and it’s more than just ‘normal’ stuff. I mentioned this to the psychologist and he suggested she come in and I agreed. I told Greg and he agreed as well. We’ve talked, off an on, about seeing a family therapist, but wasn’t sure how that would work with two difference insurances. I’m glad, though, that we finally have something scheduled. And, I suggested, to Greg, that it couldn’t hurt if we met as a couple with a psychiatrist. The doc felt so, as well, since Greg is on an anti-depressant, too.
Secondly, I have my weight loss surgery scheduled in March. It’s tentative, at the moment, since my ‘case’ hasn’t been submitted to the insurance company just yet. But, the doc’s office doesn’t see any reason why there wouldn’t been a rejection. I’m excited and a bit freaked out about this surgery. The exciting part is the changes that will occur; I’ll loose weight, finally, and keep it off. The ‘freaked out’ part is that I am permanently altering my stomach; there’s no going back once this is done. My Mom is excited that I’m made this decision. Greg, while supportive of my choice, was initially against it for himself. However, the idea has warmed up to him (which, I believe is in part to his anti-depressants), and depending on how it goes with me, he’s even willing to consider it for himself. In the meantime, Greg has been going to the gym three days a week and has changed his eating habits, including a drastic reduction in soda consumption. Granted, Greg and I drink diet soda only, soda was our ‘addition’. Since Greg has been on his anti-depressants, his soda consumption has decreased; he just doesn’t desire it anymore. The same is starting to affect me. I used to drink about 4-5 cans of soda a day (along with about 50-60 ounces of water), now I may have 1-2 cans of soda. I just don’t desire them like I used to.
Third, the office is moving. This won’t occur until the end of the year, but it’s still a big change. Additionally, we’re moving into a brand new building in downtown Baltimore (it’s still under construction)! I see this move as an opportunity for networking, and hopefully, advancement. The new environment will require me to dress professionally, which I am somewhat excited about since I’ll have a new body to dress.
It’s getting late. I’ll finish up another time.