Life is Full of Changes

Whew! There are some serious changes going on right now. For Greg and me!

Me:

  • I’m already down 87 pounds and it hasn’t even been 6 months since surgery! And, I’ve started to sell some of my clothes online to make room for new clothes. Can you believe that I am can now fit comfortably in a size 18?! Prior to surgery I was wearing a 24/26/28 in bottoms and 28/30 in tops (I’m bigger on the top than on the bottom); now, I’m wearing a 16/18 on top and a 18 on bottom! I can only imagine what size I’ll be when I reach my first ‘surgerversry’! This is exciting because my office is moving to Downtown at the end of the year and we’re expected to dress up (more than our current business casual), and I’ll finally be able to buy nice clothes and not pay three times as much because they’re plus size (which I find stupid anyway – the cost difference between a L and a 2X shouldn’t be twice). This is almost mind boggling to me. There are so many subtle changes that I’ve noticed, physically, that I didn’t think about before the surgery. Either way, I am enjoying this. I just need to get more active and start going back to the gym.
  • Work is starting to pick up in a big way. I’m going to be the lead in a pretty big project which is slightly terrifying and exciting at the same time. And, I’ll get to fly out to Houston in October, again. I had a blast last year and I plan on having fun this year.
  • My heath is pretty good. I no longer have type two diabetes; my A1C is well within normal range (not even close to ‘pre-diabetic’). Even my asthma is better… at the moment. I’m pretty sensitive to the weather, so earlier it was flaring up, but it’s calmed down a lot. My depression is being well managed now, and the perfectionism has been more prominent for the past month or two. Like, every night I wash, dry, and put away the clothes and towels that were used that day. It’s a bit crazy, I know.

Greg:

  • Greg is enjoying the working life. He’s getting along with everyone, and everyone likes him! Everyone keeps telling him that he’s going to advance quickly, and I believe it.
  • Greg’s weight loss surgery is less than 2 months away! I’m so excited for him. I’ve already requested a week off to be home during his recovery period. That first 3 weeks is rough; there’s no actual eating – it’s all liquid – and you miss chewing and feeling food in your mouth. It was rough and I was so happy to begin the pureed stage.
  • Greg has freedom, finally! I can’t elaborate, but my persistence to getting things corrected has paid off. I can’t even begin to express how happy I am for him.

The girls are doing well. Amelia has started the 4th grade. I can’t believe she’ll be in middle school soon. Sofia is doing very well at daycare. I’m hoping to get Sofia into pre-k next year so she’ll be going to school with Amelia at the same time. Otherwise, I don’t think they’ll be in the same school at any other point in the future.

I am so ready for summer to be over, and for fall and winter to begin. I miss the cooler temperatures so much. Although, I don’t have any clothes for the cooler temperatures… nor a jacket (not that I wore a jacket any other time), but that can change soon.

Today, Monday 8/29/16, and tomorrow I am in a “UAT for the BA” training class. So far, it’s a bit repetitious, but that’s a good thing since I was kind of thrown into the UAT world. Plus, the more certifications I can earn, the more valuable I’ll be seen. Plus, it’s interesting and I’m learning a lot about the back-end of products.

Well, class is about to begin…

2016 Already?

Geez, time is flying by too fast. This year marks 20 years since Greg graduated from high school! 20 freaking years! I don’t feel old enough to say 20 years has passed for any milestone.

Yet, 9 years ago tonight I was in labor. My water broke at 6pm and my Mom drove me to the hospital. When I was checked, and confirmed my water did indeed break, I was already 2cm dilated. Within 13 hours I was going to meet my baby girl.

Amelia is turning 9 years old. And, every year (just about) I write how I can’t believe how old she’s turning. And, every year it’s true. I don’t feel old enough to have a nearly 10 year old kid. In my heart (and mind), I’m still 27. And, it seems I’ll forever feel that way (all the while thinking it’s only 1997). 27 was a big age. I had a kid. I got the man of my dreams. Moved three times with a baby. Bought my first financed car. A lot of big things happened when I was 27.

When Greg and I were engaged and planning our wedding, I befriend a lot of other ladies doing the same. Recently, I noticed that a lot of those friends have divorced. It made me look at my relationship with Greg and how ours differs from others; even my first marriage. And, I am thankful that Greg and I have each other and that we can be who we are without judgement. Granted, our marriage hasn’t been easy and we’ve had a lot of challenges – many that I knew about before we became parents and then husband and wife – but, the one constant that has been in our relationship is support and love. Greg supports me and the events going on in my life; whether they’re positive or negative. And, while sometimes I may not agree with how Greg is handling something, I support him. I also tell him what I think could be improved upon, and he’ll listen, but it’s the open communication we have that allows us to support each other.

2016 is going to have a lot of changes. Not sure on all of the changes, but things have already been set into motion. First, I’ve been taking an anti-depressant for about a month and I finally feel better (somewhat). I definitely don’t feel as ‘broken’ as I did before, and I am able to handle stressful moments a lot better. There’s still some work in progress, as a family, to be more balanced. But, that’s all to come as well. I’ve made an appointment for Amelia to see a child psychologist for some things. Amelia can be a bit much, and it’s more than just ‘normal’ stuff. I mentioned this to the psychologist and he suggested she come in and I agreed. I told Greg and he agreed as well. We’ve talked, off an on, about seeing a family therapist, but wasn’t sure how that would work with two difference insurances. I’m glad, though, that we finally have something scheduled. And, I suggested, to Greg, that it couldn’t hurt if we met as a couple with a psychiatrist. The doc felt so, as well, since Greg is on an anti-depressant, too.

Secondly, I have my weight loss surgery scheduled in March. It’s tentative, at the moment, since my ‘case’ hasn’t been submitted to the insurance company just yet. But, the doc’s office doesn’t see any reason why there wouldn’t been a rejection. I’m excited and a bit freaked out about this surgery. The exciting part is the changes that will occur; I’ll loose weight, finally, and keep it off. The ‘freaked out’ part is that I am permanently altering my stomach; there’s no going back once this is done. My Mom is excited that I’m made this decision. Greg, while supportive of my choice, was initially against it for himself. However, the idea has warmed up to him (which, I believe is in part to his anti-depressants), and depending on how it goes with me, he’s even willing to consider it for himself. In the meantime, Greg has been going to the gym three days a week and has changed his eating habits, including a drastic reduction in soda consumption. Granted, Greg and I drink diet soda only, soda was our ‘addition’. Since Greg has been on his anti-depressants, his soda consumption has decreased; he just doesn’t desire it anymore. The same is starting to affect me. I used to drink about 4-5 cans of soda a day (along with about 50-60 ounces of water), now I may have 1-2 cans of soda. I just don’t desire them like I used to.

Third, the office is moving. This won’t occur until the end of the year, but it’s still a big change. Additionally, we’re moving into a brand new building in downtown Baltimore (it’s still under construction)! I see this move as an opportunity for networking, and hopefully, advancement. The new environment will require me to dress professionally, which I am somewhat excited about since I’ll have a new body to dress.

It’s getting late. I’ll finish up another time.

 

Here’s Your Sign

You know you’ve had a long day and a long week when you put the clean dishes in the refrigerator.

And I totally did that.

I washed a few pots and pans (cause I don’t put them in the dishwasher) and instead of putting them in the cabinet, I put them in the refrigerator.

It’s been one helluva week; I’ve been working extra hours (cause I like money) and searching for a place to order my wedding flowers. Work has been…. a nightmare. I am on the verge of loosing my sanity; well, what’s left of it at least. Can you believe how stupid people are out there in the USA? For example, this lady contacts us via webchat (we have that option) and ‘talks’ to someone for an extended amount of time; we caught on to her really quickly, given the history she’s had with us (in the short 2 months). So, what does she do? She ended the webchat and comes back under a different name, thinking she’s being slick, except it’s the same IP address and all the other ISP information. Oh, and I was the lucky one to chat with her the second time. And, while she’s chatting with me, she is on the phone with a fellow co-worker, trying to get one of us to believe her pathetic story. What she didn’t know is that the co-worker and myself were already aware of what this person was up to.  So, what was this person up to? Well, we sent her a disconnect notice for a past due balance of $1588 and in order to stop the disconnect order, she has to pay us $845. The customer informed us that she made the payment to one of the organizations we work with (companies like ACE, MoneyGram, Western Union, etc) and provided us with the confirmation number of her payment – well, when we contacted the organization for validation of the payment… you guessed it, there was no record of payment (and we checked every possible mean – name, phone number, address, etc); so, since she couldn’t prove payment was made, the disconnect order still stands. Then, this customer had the balls to ask if we would take a check from her! This girl has already bounced three checks with us… Sorry, we’re not accepting checks at this time. This person was the highlight of the day, sadly. But, the real sad thing is, is that I’ve had to deal with people worse than her. Yesterday I hung up the phone on a handful of people; I tell the customer, if you don’t stop with the foul language that I will end the call. Usually they stop, but I guess yesterday was the odd day. So, I’ve been dealing with people who have shit for brains and tongue. Such fun.

No concrete plans for the weekend. I had to cancel my plans with Michele about the Bridal Show on Saturday because I forgot I was working (have I mentioned I like money?). This Saturday is also a surprise 50th Birthday Party for my uncle, and I won’t be attending… due to working, and the fact that it’s all the way in La Plata.

Don’t know what I am doing on Sunday, as of yet. The plan a few weeks ago was to get together with Michele in Hagerstown to do the girlie, wedding, stuff, but I don’t know if we’re still on. I’ve sent her a text message but she doesnt’ get out of work until midnight.

I finally remembered what I wanted to ‘think outloud’ about a few posts ago: Getting a new hair cut/style! I’ve been toying with the idea of having my hair done; and I mean more than just a trim/cut. I mean STYLED. But, I am hesitant because I still haven’t decided how I want to do my hair for the wedding pictures, and since I haven’t decided on a style for my wedding pictures, I don’t know if my hair needs to be long, shoulder length, or short.

What I really need to do is stop being so indecisive and just do something.

Who am I kidding?! HA HA HA

So, is anyone else in disbelief that August is half way over as I am?! Um, like WOW! It’s already the 15th of the month, with 16 days left.

AANNDD!!!!

this week marks a WHOLE year that Greg and I have been living together as a family; a mom, dad, and baby all under one roof 24/7/365 (well, 366 since this was a leap year)!

During these past 12 months: Amelia crawled, spoke her first words, took her first steps, cut her first tooth, ate her first ‘real’ foods. Greg and I talked about our future together and became engaged; we celebrated our first Thanksgiving and Christmas together AND with our respective, extended, families (he met mine and I met his), we’ve had our first ‘disagreements’, heart to hearts, and many ‘special moments’. We’ve set future goals and plans together – all in this place we call HOME. It’s been an amazing year and I know the next 12 months are going to be just as amazing as the last twelve!

And with that, I say good night!

Busy Bee

Work has been kicking my ass this week. Yesterday I stayed until 8pm! I was going to stay again tonight but I had one of the worst days in a while and was pretty much “fuck this! I’m not staying any longer than need be”

I believe that every women I spoke with today had PMS. And, I was on the verge of loosing it and screaming a those women and telling them to “Shut the fuck UP and let me finish my sentience!!” because NO ONE would let me finish what I was trying to say because they were too busy screaming at the top of their lungs (into the phone) and cursing me out. I have never, in my life, been called a bitch so many times as I have today (or in general for that matter). It was a bad day for me.

To add to that, I had to make an appointment with the dentist because the tooth that I broke earlier this month is starting to act up. I have never had problems with my teeth prior to getting pregnant, but I’ve learned that when a women is pregnant, the baby ‘takes’ all the calcium from the mother’s body and usually the teeth are the ones most effected. Sure seems to be true for me. Needless to say, I’m petrified of this visit given my last two experiences with the dentist; so much so that I’ve requested light sedation and the dentist prescribed something for me to take before the appointment… I can’t remember the name of the drug, but whatever.. I’ll take it.

Also, on the list today, I began my search for a Ob/Gyn because… I have even MORE reasons to be paranoid about being (possibly) pregnant. I know, I am such a procrastinator (and that’s all I’m going to admit to), but these new ‘symptoms’ are starting to push me. What are they? Well, for the last week and a half I’ve had severe nausea in the afternoon, usually within a half hour to an hour after eating lunch; for the past week and a half my boobs (both of them this time) have been sore and ‘feel’ different – like… fuller and they look fuller to me (Greg says he doesn’t see any difference); and the sinker is when I stand up quickly I get this sharp-ish pulling pain in my lower abdomen (more in the hip/pelvic area) and the last time I felt those was the Summer of 2006 (when I was preggers and didn’t know), and when I mentioned this to my old Ob/Gyn (because I made an appointment due to the sore boob for nearly a month – and it was time for my annual), he said it was probably due to a shift of my intestines (did loose nearly 40lbs in 5 months) brought on by my sudden movement. And, to me that made sense. Yeah… not believing it this time. So, it’s time for me to suck it up and find out once and for all.

I told Greg all of this earlier tonight (after we had sex… talk about a ‘just after’ mood killer) to gage his feelings about ‘what could be’, and … he’s cool with it (sorta). He did say that he was going to have a vasectomy once Baby #2 is born (so I don’t have to remain on birth control – and he knows how much I hate being on b/c). Then, he joked that he must have some mighty sperm or something – and I replied with something along the lines of “yeah.. and my body can resist the powers of b/c”… meh, at least he was light hearted about it. Which, I guess could be because one of his best friends, Tim and Brooke, are going to have a baby girl this fall and another co-worker of his (the one that invited us to their wedding in NY this past May) just found out she’s pregnant and due in February 2009 (she did the math and realized she got pregnant on her wedding night!); so maybe he’s getting the ‘baby bug’ or something (like he would ever admit to that… LOL).

My step-dad’s eBay sales are exceeding my expectations! He’s actually got nearly $2000 worth of bids on the items I listed for him! I still have one more to list, but I need to call him first… something I’ve been meaning to do for the last two nights.

The UPS Guy is leaving love notes again. I’ve been waiting for my Target order all week and tonight was the second night that s/he left ANOTHER stupid sticky note on the door – how anal are these people about the signature and name? Geez!

This weekend we are heading down to Mom’s and we’re going to leave Amelia with her since the babysitter is going to the Bahama’s until the 30th (babysitters daughter is in a dance competition or something). I have to finish packing Amelia clothes and toys and make sure I send all the little odds and ends down (baby Tylenol; enough diapers; de-tangler spray, etc). I’m already missing Amelia and she hasn’t left yet. These last few weeks have been … jaw dropping with Amelia’s rapid development; her verbal skills are better than those who are two or older, she’s actually begun counting objects (such as her fingers, Cheerios, etc)… it’s all so… freaky! I’m seriously blown away; yet I want more! It’s hard to explain, at least for me.

Greg and I are going to our first O’s game this Sunday. The O’s are having a “We Win, You Win 2” promotion, which is “…all fans in attendance at the 1:35 p.m. game on Sunday, July 20 against the Detroit Tigers will receive two complimentary tickets in the same seating category to any future non-prime game, if the Orioles win.” and we’re going to buy tickets in the “all you can eat” seats!

Next Wednesday night a group of us are meeting at a local restaurant for dinner and then we’re going to see the new Batman movie.

And, the last week of July we are going to Ocean City! Amelia’s first beach trip!!! I can’t wait. It’s been ages (ok, May 2005) since I swam in the Atlantic Ocean. This past Monday I bought a new bathing suit from Sears and I’ve pretty excited. Greg reserved a nice hotel room right on the Boardwalk!

We’ve got a pretty busy social calander for the remainder of the month, and I couldn’t be happier!!

Busy Bee

Work has been kicking my ass this week. Yesterday I stayed until 8pm! I was going to stay again tonight but I had one of the worst days in a while and was pretty much “fuck this! I’m not staying any longer than need be”

I believe that every women I spoke with today had PMS. And, I was on the verge of loosing it and screaming a those women and telling them to “Shut the fuck UP and let me finish my sentience!!” because NO ONE would let me finish what I was trying to say because they were too busy screaming at the top of their lungs (into the phone) and cursing me out. I have never, in my life, been called a bitch so many times as I have today (or in general for that matter). It was a bad day for me.

To add to that, I had to make an appointment with the dentist because the tooth that I broke earlier this month is starting to act up. I have never had problems with my teeth prior to getting pregnant, but I’ve learned that when a women is pregnant, the baby ‘takes’ all the calcium from the mother’s body and usually the teeth are the ones most effected. Sure seems to be true for me. Needless to say, I’m petrified of this visit given my last two experiences with the dentist; so much so that I’ve requested light sedation and the dentist prescribed something for me to take before the appointment… I can’t remember the name of the drug, but whatever.. I’ll take it.

Also, on the list today, I began my search for a Ob/Gyn because… I have even MORE reasons to be paranoid about being (possibly) pregnant. I know, I am such a procrastinator (and that’s all I’m going to admit to), but these new ‘symptoms’ are starting to push me. What are they? Well, for the last week and a half I’ve had severe nausea in the afternoon, usually within a half hour to an hour after eating lunch; for the past week and a half my boobs (both of them this time) have been sore and ‘feel’ different – like… fuller and they look fuller to me (Greg says he doesn’t see any difference); and the sinker is when I stand up quickly I get this sharp-ish pulling pain in my lower abdomen (more in the hip/pelvic area) and the last time I felt those was the Summer of 2006 (when I was preggers and didn’t know), and when I mentioned this to my old Ob/Gyn (because I made an appointment due to the sore boob for nearly a month – and it was time for my annual), he said it was probably due to a shift of my intestines (did loose nearly 40lbs in 5 months) brought on by my sudden movement. And, to me that made sense. Yeah… not believing it this time. So, it’s time for me to suck it up and find out once and for all.

I told Greg all of this earlier tonight (after we had sex… talk about a ‘just after’ mood killer) to gage his feelings about ‘what could be’, and … he’s cool with it (sorta). He did say that he was going to have a vasectomy once Baby #2 is born (so I don’t have to remain on birth control – and he knows how much I hate being on b/c). Then, he joked that he must have some mighty sperm or something – and I replied with something along the lines of “yeah.. and my body can resist the powers of b/c”… meh, at least he was light hearted about it. Which, I guess could be because one of his best friends, Tim and Brooke, are going to have a baby girl this fall and another co-worker of his (the one that invited us to their wedding in NY this past May) just found out she’s pregnant and due in February 2009 (she did the math and realized she got pregnant on her wedding night!); so maybe he’s getting the ‘baby bug’ or something (like he would ever admit to that… LOL).

My step-dad’s eBay sales are exceeding my expectations! He’s actually got nearly $2000 worth of bids on the items I listed for him! I still have one more to list, but I need to call him first… something I’ve been meaning to do for the last two nights.

The UPS Guy is leaving love notes again. I’ve been waiting for my Target order all week and tonight was the second night that s/he left ANOTHER stupid sticky note on the door – how anal are these people about the signature and name? Geez!

This weekend we are heading down to Mom’s and we’re going to leave Amelia with her since the babysitter is going to the Bahama’s until the 30th (babysitters daughter is in a dance competition or something). I have to finish packing Amelia clothes and toys and make sure I send all the little odds and ends down (baby Tylenol; enough diapers; de-tangler spray, etc). I’m already missing Amelia and she hasn’t left yet. These last few weeks have been … jaw dropping with Amelia’s rapid development; her verbal skills are better than those who are two or older, she’s actually begun counting objects (such as her fingers, Cheerios, etc)… it’s all so… freaky! I’m seriously blown away; yet I want more! It’s hard to explain, at least for me.

Greg and I are going to our first O’s game this Sunday. The O’s are having a “We Win, You Win 2” promotion, which is “…all fans in attendance at the 1:35 p.m. game on Sunday, July 20 against the Detroit Tigers will receive two complimentary tickets in the same seating category to any future non-prime game, if the Orioles win.” and we’re going to buy tickets in the “all you can eat” seats!

Next Wednesday night a group of us are meeting at a local restaurant for dinner and then we’re going to see the new Batman movie.

And, the last week of July we are going to Ocean City! Amelia’s first beach trip!!! I can’t wait. It’s been ages (ok, May 2005) since I swam in the Atlantic Ocean. This past Monday I bought a new bathing suit from Sears and I’ve pretty excited. Greg reserved a nice hotel room right on the Boardwalk!

We’ve got a pretty busy social calander for the remainder of the month, and I couldn’t be happier!!

Sunday Driving

I drove to the tippy top of Maryland (Conowingo, MD) today for Jay’s 30th Birthday.

Jay and Me

The party was a small, informal affair. I got to catch-up with Jay’s grandma and on his side of the family as well as meet some of his in-laws. We all had a good time.  Greg took all the pictures since I spent most of my time chatting and tending to Amelia (and letting her pour water all over me and herself).

The drive was fun-ish. The reason I say that is because people in upper Harford County and Cecil County drive the.exact.speed.limit and that drove me crazy.

Greg took some really nice pictures:

Here’s one of the Conowingo Dam:

Conowingo Dam

And here are some of my favorite pictures, all taken by Greg:

And here are some pictures of the Birthday Boy and his cakes:

Jay\'s Birthday Cakes

As we sing \"Happy Birthday\"

Cutting the cake

once the festivities quited, Jay and I sat outside and chatted for a few minutes:

Jay and Me chatting

Me with my Big Cheezy Smile

and, last but not least, a cute picture of Leslee (Jay’s wife) and Amelia:

Leslee and Amelia

Leslee snagged Amelia as she was running towards the steps.

All in all, it was a great day (warm and humid, but great). It was nice to get out and drive around to new places.

Jay said to me “you’re the youngest 30 year old I know.” I don’t know if that’s a compliment or not – I think it is. Maybe it’s because I haven’t changed since high/middle school (personality and all that – and actually, my physical appearnce hasn’t aged that much either (just 15lbs heavier)); which has its faults – I think. When compairing myself to those that I graduated with – I’m no where near where they are on the ‘grown-up ladder’ – I’m not married (yet), I don’t own a house, I don’t have 2.7 children, I don’t have a career (so to speak) and really… I don’t feel ‘settled’ – or that I’ve ‘dug in my roots’. And, I don’t think I’ll ever feel ‘settled’; it’s not something that I want to accomplish and, really, I don’t know if I have things that I want to accomplish (aside from the obvious: home owner and things related) – things that will advance me up the ‘grown-up’ ladder. I don’t feel I need to achieve a certain ‘status’ in life. Greg used to feel like that; he had to have this ‘status’ by a certain age (marriage and things of the sort) and that’s why he ‘settled’ on his ex: it was what he was suppose to do at that age in his life. He’s since opened his eyes and learned that’s not how one is suppose to live their life (but more like you’re suppose to live life as it’s provided to you), and I deeply feel that’s why Greg and I are going to be together ’til death do us part’ – because we live life as it’s presented to us. There’s no schedule, no status, it is what it is and we’re happy with what we have. Maybe that’s why I’m “the youngest 30 year old” to Jay – my outlook on life hasn’t changed since we became friends 16+ years ago; therefore I’m forever young (at heart).