Life is Full of Changes

Whew! There are some serious changes going on right now. For Greg and me!

Me:

  • I’m already down 87 pounds and it hasn’t even been 6 months since surgery! And, I’ve started to sell some of my clothes online to make room for new clothes. Can you believe that I am can now fit comfortably in a size 18?! Prior to surgery I was wearing a 24/26/28 in bottoms and 28/30 in tops (I’m bigger on the top than on the bottom); now, I’m wearing a 16/18 on top and a 18 on bottom! I can only imagine what size I’ll be when I reach my first ‘surgerversry’! This is exciting because my office is moving to Downtown at the end of the year and we’re expected to dress up (more than our current business casual), and I’ll finally be able to buy nice clothes and not pay three times as much because they’re plus size (which I find stupid anyway – the cost difference between a L and a 2X shouldn’t be twice). This is almost mind boggling to me. There are so many subtle changes that I’ve noticed, physically, that I didn’t think about before the surgery. Either way, I am enjoying this. I just need to get more active and start going back to the gym.
  • Work is starting to pick up in a big way. I’m going to be the lead in a pretty big project which is slightly terrifying and exciting at the same time. And, I’ll get to fly out to Houston in October, again. I had a blast last year and I plan on having fun this year.
  • My heath is pretty good. I no longer have type two diabetes; my A1C is well within normal range (not even close to ‘pre-diabetic’). Even my asthma is better… at the moment. I’m pretty sensitive to the weather, so earlier it was flaring up, but it’s calmed down a lot. My depression is being well managed now, and the perfectionism has been more prominent for the past month or two. Like, every night I wash, dry, and put away the clothes and towels that were used that day. It’s a bit crazy, I know.

Greg:

  • Greg is enjoying the working life. He’s getting along with everyone, and everyone likes him! Everyone keeps telling him that he’s going to advance quickly, and I believe it.
  • Greg’s weight loss surgery is less than 2 months away! I’m so excited for him. I’ve already requested a week off to be home during his recovery period. That first 3 weeks is rough; there’s no actual eating – it’s all liquid – and you miss chewing and feeling food in your mouth. It was rough and I was so happy to begin the pureed stage.
  • Greg has freedom, finally! I can’t elaborate, but my persistence to getting things corrected has paid off. I can’t even begin to express how happy I am for him.

The girls are doing well. Amelia has started the 4th grade. I can’t believe she’ll be in middle school soon. Sofia is doing very well at daycare. I’m hoping to get Sofia into pre-k next year so she’ll be going to school with Amelia at the same time. Otherwise, I don’t think they’ll be in the same school at any other point in the future.

I am so ready for summer to be over, and for fall and winter to begin. I miss the cooler temperatures so much. Although, I don’t have any clothes for the cooler temperatures… nor a jacket (not that I wore a jacket any other time), but that can change soon.

Today, Monday 8/29/16, and tomorrow I am in a “UAT for the BA” training class. So far, it’s a bit repetitious, but that’s a good thing since I was kind of thrown into the UAT world. Plus, the more certifications I can earn, the more valuable I’ll be seen. Plus, it’s interesting and I’m learning a lot about the back-end of products.

Well, class is about to begin…

What’s New?

I’ve lost 60 pounds! Holy smokes, y’all. My clothes are too big, my bra’s are too big, even my underwear is too big. Yet, I haven’t gone shopping for new clothes because I hate spending money on myself; my psychiatrist thinks that’s unusual (me not spending money on clothes, etc.). Honestly, I don’t even know what size I am because I continue to wear my old clothes, and plan to do so until they’re literally falling off of me (in which case, they’re starting to do… I wore one of Greg’s belts yesterday for the first time). This whole weight-loss surgery has been a ‘hurry up and wait’ thing for me. I’m excited to see where it will take me, and I want to get there as soon as possible, but I know it’s going to take time.

Greg starts his new job in a couple of weeks. It’ll be an adjustment to him going back to work after nearly 5 years (since being laid off), but we’re both excited. His training is going to be 4 weeks long! Then, afterwards, we hope he gets the schedule he’s selected which he’ll be working a night shift (until midnight).

With Greg working, Sofia will be going to daycare full-time for the first time in her 3.5 years of life. Also, since the training is 4 weeks long, Amelia will be going to my Mom’s for a month.

My job has been going well. We’re going to be moving offices towards the end of the year. It’ll be weird with a new commute; I’ve been doing the current one for nearly 10 years! But, I’m excited about the new office. It’ll be in downtown Baltimore, right on the water, with amazing views and a lot of new amenities.

Amelia is graduating from the 3rd grade next week. Good grief time is flying by. I can’t believe she’s nearly 10 years old, and nearing the end of her years in elementary school. I soo don’t feel old enough to have a soon-to-be middle school-er. Not at all. Also, Amelia made honor roll this entire school year. So proud of her! She’s doing really well in math (probably better than me), and reading (she’s above grade level).

Sofia has finally graduated to big-girl status by being 100% in underwear. No more pull-ups and diapers for this gal! I’m so proud of her as well. Even at bedtime. And, we haven’t had a single accident in the past 3-4 weeks that she’s been wearing undies.

Greg has completed his final ‘step’ in terms of medical clearance for his turn at the surgery. We’re just waiting for his next appointment with the surgeon to schedule his date.

This summer is going to fly by. A lot of new changes and routines, and I can’t wait!

2016 Already?

Geez, time is flying by too fast. This year marks 20 years since Greg graduated from high school! 20 freaking years! I don’t feel old enough to say 20 years has passed for any milestone.

Yet, 9 years ago tonight I was in labor. My water broke at 6pm and my Mom drove me to the hospital. When I was checked, and confirmed my water did indeed break, I was already 2cm dilated. Within 13 hours I was going to meet my baby girl.

Amelia is turning 9 years old. And, every year (just about) I write how I can’t believe how old she’s turning. And, every year it’s true. I don’t feel old enough to have a nearly 10 year old kid. In my heart (and mind), I’m still 27. And, it seems I’ll forever feel that way (all the while thinking it’s only 1997). 27 was a big age. I had a kid. I got the man of my dreams. Moved three times with a baby. Bought my first financed car. A lot of big things happened when I was 27.

When Greg and I were engaged and planning our wedding, I befriend a lot of other ladies doing the same. Recently, I noticed that a lot of those friends have divorced. It made me look at my relationship with Greg and how ours differs from others; even my first marriage. And, I am thankful that Greg and I have each other and that we can be who we are without judgement. Granted, our marriage hasn’t been easy and we’ve had a lot of challenges – many that I knew about before we became parents and then husband and wife – but, the one constant that has been in our relationship is support and love. Greg supports me and the events going on in my life; whether they’re positive or negative. And, while sometimes I may not agree with how Greg is handling something, I support him. I also tell him what I think could be improved upon, and he’ll listen, but it’s the open communication we have that allows us to support each other.

2016 is going to have a lot of changes. Not sure on all of the changes, but things have already been set into motion. First, I’ve been taking an anti-depressant for about a month and I finally feel better (somewhat). I definitely don’t feel as ‘broken’ as I did before, and I am able to handle stressful moments a lot better. There’s still some work in progress, as a family, to be more balanced. But, that’s all to come as well. I’ve made an appointment for Amelia to see a child psychologist for some things. Amelia can be a bit much, and it’s more than just ‘normal’ stuff. I mentioned this to the psychologist and he suggested she come in and I agreed. I told Greg and he agreed as well. We’ve talked, off an on, about seeing a family therapist, but wasn’t sure how that would work with two difference insurances. I’m glad, though, that we finally have something scheduled. And, I suggested, to Greg, that it couldn’t hurt if we met as a couple with a psychiatrist. The doc felt so, as well, since Greg is on an anti-depressant, too.

Secondly, I have my weight loss surgery scheduled in March. It’s tentative, at the moment, since my ‘case’ hasn’t been submitted to the insurance company just yet. But, the doc’s office doesn’t see any reason why there wouldn’t been a rejection. I’m excited and a bit freaked out about this surgery. The exciting part is the changes that will occur; I’ll loose weight, finally, and keep it off. The ‘freaked out’ part is that I am permanently altering my stomach; there’s no going back once this is done. My Mom is excited that I’m made this decision. Greg, while supportive of my choice, was initially against it for himself. However, the idea has warmed up to him (which, I believe is in part to his anti-depressants), and depending on how it goes with me, he’s even willing to consider it for himself. In the meantime, Greg has been going to the gym three days a week and has changed his eating habits, including a drastic reduction in soda consumption. Granted, Greg and I┬ádrink diet soda only, soda was our ‘addition’. Since Greg has been on his anti-depressants, his soda consumption has decreased; he just doesn’t desire it anymore. The same is starting to affect me. I used to drink about 4-5 cans of soda a day (along with about 50-60 ounces of water), now I may have 1-2 cans of soda. I just don’t desire them like I used to.

Third, the office is moving. This won’t occur until the end of the year, but it’s still a big change. Additionally, we’re moving into a brand new building in downtown Baltimore (it’s still under construction)! I see this move as an opportunity for networking, and hopefully, advancement. The new environment will require me to dress professionally, which I am somewhat excited about since I’ll have a new body to dress.

It’s getting late. I’ll finish up another time.

 

Updates

I’m disappointed to write that there was no 5am Battering Ram team. We don’t know what happen from when we talked to the cop around 1pm to when we came home around 5pm; evidentially something happened because our neighbor was no longer ‘in hiding’, or so it seemed.

As expected, the O’s lost yesterday. But, the game was enjoyable nonetheless. I really enjoy baseball as a sport; it’s exciting to watch and play. I don’t really follow the team members (other than Brandon Fahey, but I follow him because of his strong inner strength rather than his (in)ability to play short stop) or their stats. I enjoy going to a game and I honestly root for the O’s and what other team they’re playing; hey, if a good hit was made, a great double or triple play was done – I’m going to cheer for you regardless.

I did take some nice pictures of the game:

Buildings in Baltimore City

Detroit Tigers Bullpen

Picture of us enjoying the game

I usually don’t wear a baseball cap but it was very sunny and hot and I don’t own a pair of sunglasses, so I took one of Greg’s hats (the cleanest one). I used to wear this hat when I worked at Weis (when they made me wear a hat) and Greg says I somehow shrunk that hat – hmm… doubt that… I just think he doesn’t want to wear it anymore for other reasons. Either way, it’s a neat hat – UAF – University of Alaska Fairbanks. Greg spent a good chunk of his childhood in Alaska (Kodiak and Sitka) and then in Oregon before moving to MD for good (for now). Moving on…

View from our seats

The section we sat in was the “AYCE” seats. We had “free” supplies of drink and snacks. But, given how hot it was I had a very small appetite and mostly drink my $20 worth of lemonade and soda. But, I did enjoy a few (maybe 3) ice cream sandwiches.

And, Greg and I forgot to put on sunblock so we both got a decent sunburn (I was expecting worse). But, at the same time, we (or I) want to have some tanned skin for when we go to the Caribbean this winter (and we’ve actually talked about going to a tanning salon!!) Luckily, I can hold a tan for quite some time due to my quarter bit Native American Indian heritage (hence the reason Amelia was so dark when she was born and how she’s more tan than Greg!)

Speaking of Amelia, she’s having a grand time with my Mom and step-dad! She loves to play with Lucy (the horse) and run around the huge yard. Mom bought her a little swimming pool after hearing about how well she did at the birthday party from the other weekend. It’s so cute to talk to Amelia over the phone! She’ll tell Greg and me that she misses and “wuves” us (yes, she can’t say “L”s very well at this moment). It’s hearing her say “I wuve you too” that’s the sinker for Greg and me. Amelia just started saying I Love You about two weeks ago on her own. It’s so quiet without her and we miss her to bits, but at the same time we’re able to get so much done around the condo and have more freedom to do spontaneous things after work.

This past Saturday we spent the day at my Mom’s celebrating her 49th birthday. Sean and I bought a bushel of crabs for Mom:

and just hung around the house until 10:30pm. Greg walked around and took some amazing pictures again, and he got the chance to use the wide angle lens some more (which I am totally loving):

We also set off a few fireworks, but those pictures didn’t turn out so great.

While visiting, Greg and my step-dad were talking about camera and lenses and the sorts (Step-dad is also an avid photographer but more along the lines of semi-pro) and Greg was telling him something about a tripod and my step-dad offers one to Greg! Actually, he let Greg pick one of two that he could have (and my step-dad has many more). So, what does Greg do with his new tripod, he goes and takes a picture of the night sky and stars… and I’ll have to post one of those photos later because I am unable to network to Greg’s computer at the moment.

All in all it was a nice weekend. I wish I could say the same about today. Work was uber stressful and my level of patience has dropped dramatically this month, among other things (*ahem*blogging*ahem*). I just feel… done… with everything at the moment. As well as bored. I’m frustrated at work because I’m not allowed (yes, they are not allowing me) to complete the tasks that they keep assigning me. I actually have to get permission to work on other things! It’s ridiculous! And I’m one of those people that like to keep my inbox empty – which means I only leave items in there that I need to be completed and as of tonight, I have over 20 uncompleted tasks and it drives me crazy.

Also, today, I had my dental evaluation. I only made this appointment so I could get some antibiotics for my tooth; which, I might add, the office had no problems, whatsoever, prescribing me Lorazepam over the phone, but they had to see me, in person, to prescribe Amoxicillion. What’s wrong with this picture? Also, I’ve come to the conclusion the dentists practically GIVE out Lortab or Hydrocodone! They didn’t even ask if I was in pain today and prescribed me MORE pain meds (fortunately, I still have plenty from when I had my gall bladder removal – but even then I’ve only taken two pills since the tooth broke on July 6th). Good thing I’m not addicted to this stuff. Oh, and this extraction is going to set me back $310!!! And we’re going to have to dip into our savings to pay for it since we’re going to Ocean City the day after my extraction – which they told me wasn’t going to be an easy procedure (and probably worse than the last one) and that it was a good idea to suggest/accept the Lorazepam for sedation and anxiety – which, by the way, is the reason it’s going to cost me $310 (the sedation alone is $145). What a great way to start my mini-vacation.

Greg and I had a serious talk about the possibility of me being pregnant and how we feel about it. While the thought is exciting and we are embracing the possibility, we’re a little concerned about how we’re going to make it. Presently, we’re actually doing OK. We have a little bit of money in the savings account (not a lot, but some) and we’re current with all our bills; as well as been on time with all our bills (meaning no late charges and improving our credit). Basically, at this moment in our life everything is working out just right – not too much, not too little. Adding a baby is going to make things a little more challenging, financially. We’ve talked about cutting back our expenses (canceling cable, but keeping the Internet, eating out less, etc) and finding ways to bring in more income, such as me looking more into LiveOps and Greg selling his photos online (which we’re actually getting ready to set up; Greg just needs to pick out 5-10 of his best photos and edit them to his level of perfection). I used one of the online pregnancy calculators and it stated that if I am pregnant and conceived around the time of my last cycle (which, again, was just 2 days of spotting), that my estimated due date is April 10, 2009. That’s a little freaky. I really need to find a new doctor and get the answer.

Busy Bee

Work has been kicking my ass this week. Yesterday I stayed until 8pm! I was going to stay again tonight but I had one of the worst days in a while and was pretty much “fuck this! I’m not staying any longer than need be”

I believe that every women I spoke with today had PMS. And, I was on the verge of loosing it and screaming a those women and telling them to “Shut the fuck UP and let me finish my sentience!!” because NO ONE would let me finish what I was trying to say because they were too busy screaming at the top of their lungs (into the phone) and cursing me out. I have never, in my life, been called a bitch so many times as I have today (or in general for that matter). It was a bad day for me.

To add to that, I had to make an appointment with the dentist because the tooth that I broke earlier this month is starting to act up. I have never had problems with my teeth prior to getting pregnant, but I’ve learned that when a women is pregnant, the baby ‘takes’ all the calcium from the mother’s body and usually the teeth are the ones most effected. Sure seems to be true for me. Needless to say, I’m petrified of this visit given my last two experiences with the dentist; so much so that I’ve requested light sedation and the dentist prescribed something for me to take before the appointment… I can’t remember the name of the drug, but whatever.. I’ll take it.

Also, on the list today, I began my search for a Ob/Gyn because… I have even MORE reasons to be paranoid about being (possibly) pregnant. I know, I am such a procrastinator (and that’s all I’m going to admit to), but these new ‘symptoms’ are starting to push me. What are they? Well, for the last week and a half I’ve had severe nausea in the afternoon, usually within a half hour to an hour after eating lunch; for the past week and a half my boobs (both of them this time) have been sore and ‘feel’ different – like… fuller and they look fuller to me (Greg says he doesn’t see any difference); and the sinker is when I stand up quickly I get this sharp-ish pulling pain in my lower abdomen (more in the hip/pelvic area) and the last time I felt those was the Summer of 2006 (when I was preggers and didn’t know), and when I mentioned this to my old Ob/Gyn (because I made an appointment due to the sore boob for nearly a month – and it was time for my annual), he said it was probably due to a shift of my intestines (did loose nearly 40lbs in 5 months) brought on by my sudden movement. And, to me that made sense. Yeah… not believing it this time. So, it’s time for me to suck it up and find out once and for all.

I told Greg all of this earlier tonight (after we had sex… talk about a ‘just after’ mood killer) to gage his feelings about ‘what could be’, and … he’s cool with it (sorta). He did say that he was going to have a vasectomy once Baby #2 is born (so I don’t have to remain on birth control – and he knows how much I hate being on b/c). Then, he joked that he must have some mighty sperm or something – and I replied with something along the lines of “yeah.. and my body can resist the powers of b/c”… meh, at least he was light hearted about it. Which, I guess could be because one of his best friends, Tim and Brooke, are going to have a baby girl this fall and another co-worker of his (the one that invited us to their wedding in NY this past May) just found out she’s pregnant and due in February 2009 (she did the math and realized she got pregnant on her wedding night!); so maybe he’s getting the ‘baby bug’ or something (like he would ever admit to that… LOL).

My step-dad’s eBay sales are exceeding my expectations! He’s actually got nearly $2000 worth of bids on the items I listed for him! I still have one more to list, but I need to call him first… something I’ve been meaning to do for the last two nights.

The UPS Guy is leaving love notes again. I’ve been waiting for my Target order all week and tonight was the second night that s/he left ANOTHER stupid sticky note on the door – how anal are these people about the signature and name? Geez!

This weekend we are heading down to Mom’s and we’re going to leave Amelia with her since the babysitter is going to the Bahama’s until the 30th (babysitters daughter is in a dance competition or something). I have to finish packing Amelia clothes and toys and make sure I send all the little odds and ends down (baby Tylenol; enough diapers; de-tangler spray, etc). I’m already missing Amelia and she hasn’t left yet. These last few weeks have been … jaw dropping with Amelia’s rapid development; her verbal skills are better than those who are two or older, she’s actually begun counting objects (such as her fingers, Cheerios, etc)… it’s all so… freaky! I’m seriously blown away; yet I want more! It’s hard to explain, at least for me.

Greg and I are going to our first O’s game this Sunday. The O’s are having a “We Win, You Win 2” promotion, which is “…all fans in attendance at the 1:35 p.m. game on Sunday, July 20 against the Detroit Tigers will receive two complimentary tickets in the same seating category to any future non-prime game, if the Orioles win.” and we’re going to buy tickets in the “all you can eat” seats!

Next Wednesday night a group of us are meeting at a local restaurant for dinner and then we’re going to see the new Batman movie.

And, the last week of July we are going to Ocean City! Amelia’s first beach trip!!! I can’t wait. It’s been ages (ok, May 2005) since I swam in the Atlantic Ocean. This past Monday I bought a new bathing suit from Sears and I’ve pretty excited. Greg reserved a nice hotel room right on the Boardwalk!

We’ve got a pretty busy social calander for the remainder of the month, and I couldn’t be happier!!

Busy Bee

Work has been kicking my ass this week. Yesterday I stayed until 8pm! I was going to stay again tonight but I had one of the worst days in a while and was pretty much “fuck this! I’m not staying any longer than need be”

I believe that every women I spoke with today had PMS. And, I was on the verge of loosing it and screaming a those women and telling them to “Shut the fuck UP and let me finish my sentience!!” because NO ONE would let me finish what I was trying to say because they were too busy screaming at the top of their lungs (into the phone) and cursing me out. I have never, in my life, been called a bitch so many times as I have today (or in general for that matter). It was a bad day for me.

To add to that, I had to make an appointment with the dentist because the tooth that I broke earlier this month is starting to act up. I have never had problems with my teeth prior to getting pregnant, but I’ve learned that when a women is pregnant, the baby ‘takes’ all the calcium from the mother’s body and usually the teeth are the ones most effected. Sure seems to be true for me. Needless to say, I’m petrified of this visit given my last two experiences with the dentist; so much so that I’ve requested light sedation and the dentist prescribed something for me to take before the appointment… I can’t remember the name of the drug, but whatever.. I’ll take it.

Also, on the list today, I began my search for a Ob/Gyn because… I have even MORE reasons to be paranoid about being (possibly) pregnant. I know, I am such a procrastinator (and that’s all I’m going to admit to), but these new ‘symptoms’ are starting to push me. What are they? Well, for the last week and a half I’ve had severe nausea in the afternoon, usually within a half hour to an hour after eating lunch; for the past week and a half my boobs (both of them this time) have been sore and ‘feel’ different – like… fuller and they look fuller to me (Greg says he doesn’t see any difference); and the sinker is when I stand up quickly I get this sharp-ish pulling pain in my lower abdomen (more in the hip/pelvic area) and the last time I felt those was the Summer of 2006 (when I was preggers and didn’t know), and when I mentioned this to my old Ob/Gyn (because I made an appointment due to the sore boob for nearly a month – and it was time for my annual), he said it was probably due to a shift of my intestines (did loose nearly 40lbs in 5 months) brought on by my sudden movement. And, to me that made sense. Yeah… not believing it this time. So, it’s time for me to suck it up and find out once and for all.

I told Greg all of this earlier tonight (after we had sex… talk about a ‘just after’ mood killer) to gage his feelings about ‘what could be’, and … he’s cool with it (sorta). He did say that he was going to have a vasectomy once Baby #2 is born (so I don’t have to remain on birth control – and he knows how much I hate being on b/c). Then, he joked that he must have some mighty sperm or something – and I replied with something along the lines of “yeah.. and my body can resist the powers of b/c”… meh, at least he was light hearted about it. Which, I guess could be because one of his best friends, Tim and Brooke, are going to have a baby girl this fall and another co-worker of his (the one that invited us to their wedding in NY this past May) just found out she’s pregnant and due in February 2009 (she did the math and realized she got pregnant on her wedding night!); so maybe he’s getting the ‘baby bug’ or something (like he would ever admit to that… LOL).

My step-dad’s eBay sales are exceeding my expectations! He’s actually got nearly $2000 worth of bids on the items I listed for him! I still have one more to list, but I need to call him first… something I’ve been meaning to do for the last two nights.

The UPS Guy is leaving love notes again. I’ve been waiting for my Target order all week and tonight was the second night that s/he left ANOTHER stupid sticky note on the door – how anal are these people about the signature and name? Geez!

This weekend we are heading down to Mom’s and we’re going to leave Amelia with her since the babysitter is going to the Bahama’s until the 30th (babysitters daughter is in a dance competition or something). I have to finish packing Amelia clothes and toys and make sure I send all the little odds and ends down (baby Tylenol; enough diapers; de-tangler spray, etc). I’m already missing Amelia and she hasn’t left yet. These last few weeks have been … jaw dropping with Amelia’s rapid development; her verbal skills are better than those who are two or older, she’s actually begun counting objects (such as her fingers, Cheerios, etc)… it’s all so… freaky! I’m seriously blown away; yet I want more! It’s hard to explain, at least for me.

Greg and I are going to our first O’s game this Sunday. The O’s are having a “We Win, You Win 2” promotion, which is “…all fans in attendance at the 1:35 p.m. game on Sunday, July 20 against the Detroit Tigers will receive two complimentary tickets in the same seating category to any future non-prime game, if the Orioles win.” and we’re going to buy tickets in the “all you can eat” seats!

Next Wednesday night a group of us are meeting at a local restaurant for dinner and then we’re going to see the new Batman movie.

And, the last week of July we are going to Ocean City! Amelia’s first beach trip!!! I can’t wait. It’s been ages (ok, May 2005) since I swam in the Atlantic Ocean. This past Monday I bought a new bathing suit from Sears and I’ve pretty excited. Greg reserved a nice hotel room right on the Boardwalk!

We’ve got a pretty busy social calander for the remainder of the month, and I couldn’t be happier!!

Home

I am finally home.

I am in bed (loving my cell phone and its capabilities) trying to get comfortable and waiting for the oxycodone to kick in.

I have four ‘new’ holes in mah bellah and the little effers hurt. It’s amazing how much the smallest thing can bring a person down.

Be on the look out for Tales from the Gurney.

and, of course, pictures!