Life is Full of Changes

Whew! There are some serious changes going on right now. For Greg and me!

Me:

  • I’m already down 87 pounds and it hasn’t even been 6 months since surgery! And, I’ve started to sell some of my clothes online to make room for new clothes. Can you believe that I am can now fit comfortably in a size 18?! Prior to surgery I was wearing a 24/26/28 in bottoms and 28/30 in tops (I’m bigger on the top than on the bottom); now, I’m wearing a 16/18 on top and a 18 on bottom! I can only imagine what size I’ll be when I reach my first ‘surgerversry’! This is exciting because my office is moving to Downtown at the end of the year and we’re expected to dress up (more than our current business casual), and I’ll finally be able to buy nice clothes and not pay three times as much because they’re plus size (which I find stupid anyway – the cost difference between a L and a 2X shouldn’t be twice). This is almost mind boggling to me. There are so many subtle changes that I’ve noticed, physically, that I didn’t think about before the surgery. Either way, I am enjoying this. I just need to get more active and start going back to the gym.
  • Work is starting to pick up in a big way. I’m going to be the lead in a pretty big project which is slightly terrifying and exciting at the same time. And, I’ll get to fly out to Houston in October, again. I had a blast last year and I plan on having fun this year.
  • My heath is pretty good. I no longer have type two diabetes; my A1C is well within normal range (not even close to ‘pre-diabetic’). Even my asthma is better… at the moment. I’m pretty sensitive to the weather, so earlier it was flaring up, but it’s calmed down a lot. My depression is being well managed now, and the perfectionism has been more prominent for the past month or two. Like, every night I wash, dry, and put away the clothes and towels that were used that day. It’s a bit crazy, I know.

Greg:

  • Greg is enjoying the working life. He’s getting along with everyone, and everyone likes him! Everyone keeps telling him that he’s going to advance quickly, and I believe it.
  • Greg’s weight loss surgery is less than 2 months away! I’m so excited for him. I’ve already requested a week off to be home during his recovery period. That first 3 weeks is rough; there’s no actual eating – it’s all liquid – and you miss chewing and feeling food in your mouth. It was rough and I was so happy to begin the pureed stage.
  • Greg has freedom, finally! I can’t elaborate, but my persistence to getting things corrected has paid off. I can’t even begin to express how happy I am for him.

The girls are doing well. Amelia has started the 4th grade. I can’t believe she’ll be in middle school soon. Sofia is doing very well at daycare. I’m hoping to get Sofia into pre-k next year so she’ll be going to school with Amelia at the same time. Otherwise, I don’t think they’ll be in the same school at any other point in the future.

I am so ready for summer to be over, and for fall and winter to begin. I miss the cooler temperatures so much. Although, I don’t have any clothes for the cooler temperatures… nor a jacket (not that I wore a jacket any other time), but that can change soon.

Today, Monday 8/29/16, and tomorrow I am in a “UAT for the BA” training class. So far, it’s a bit repetitious, but that’s a good thing since I was kind of thrown into the UAT world. Plus, the more certifications I can earn, the more valuable I’ll be seen. Plus, it’s interesting and I’m learning a lot about the back-end of products.

Well, class is about to begin…

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When I can’t sleep…

I blog. Sort of. And play Words with Friends.

Why am I up at 2:30am? It’s not like I had a lot of caffeine today. On the plus side, I don’t have to be at work until 11 so I will be able to sleep in… Amelia permitting.

May is such a busy month for us; it’s been non-stop weekends since the beginning and I don’t see it slowing down anytime soon. Eventually, I’d like to write about Easter, my promotion at work, Mother’s Day, Greg’s 33rd birthday, and other events but I don’t know when I’ll have the time (unless I stay up until 2:30am every night).

In other news, I’ve switched schools and I’m now a student of the University of Maryland! My first class begins June 1 and it’s accounting– should be easy, right?

Greg and I have enrolled Amelia into a Summer Camp of sorts. It’s a private school that offers a summer program and it sounds awesome! I hope there are a lot of opportunities for volunteers or chaperones! In addition to the summer school, Amelia is enrolled in Pre-K at the same private school. I can’t believe my baby girl is grown up!

We’re still on for the cruise in November and we’re hoping to get a trip to Ocean City, MD sometime in August before school starts.

Amelia has been asking Greg and I every week since October if we’re going back to Disney World. We tell her that we will go back one day. However, we have a plan: a surprise trip for Amelia’s 6th birthday! We’re totally going be like the Disney commercials where the kids are told once they wake up. Unfortunately, we have to wait a year and a half but that gives us enough time to save for a stay at the Polynesian or Animal Kingdom Lodge.

House hunting is coming along. We are meeting with the financial counselor in June to move on to the next step and we hope to have a home by next Spring at the latest.

So, there is a lot going on in my little world.

Here’s Your Sign

You know you’ve had a long day and a long week when you put the clean dishes in the refrigerator.

And I totally did that.

I washed a few pots and pans (cause I don’t put them in the dishwasher) and instead of putting them in the cabinet, I put them in the refrigerator.

It’s been one helluva week; I’ve been working extra hours (cause I like money) and searching for a place to order my wedding flowers. Work has been…. a nightmare. I am on the verge of loosing my sanity; well, what’s left of it at least. Can you believe how stupid people are out there in the USA? For example, this lady contacts us via webchat (we have that option) and ‘talks’ to someone for an extended amount of time; we caught on to her really quickly, given the history she’s had with us (in the short 2 months). So, what does she do? She ended the webchat and comes back under a different name, thinking she’s being slick, except it’s the same IP address and all the other ISP information. Oh, and I was the lucky one to chat with her the second time. And, while she’s chatting with me, she is on the phone with a fellow co-worker, trying to get one of us to believe her pathetic story. What she didn’t know is that the co-worker and myself were already aware of what this person was up to.  So, what was this person up to? Well, we sent her a disconnect notice for a past due balance of $1588 and in order to stop the disconnect order, she has to pay us $845. The customer informed us that she made the payment to one of the organizations we work with (companies like ACE, MoneyGram, Western Union, etc) and provided us with the confirmation number of her payment – well, when we contacted the organization for validation of the payment… you guessed it, there was no record of payment (and we checked every possible mean – name, phone number, address, etc); so, since she couldn’t prove payment was made, the disconnect order still stands. Then, this customer had the balls to ask if we would take a check from her! This girl has already bounced three checks with us… Sorry, we’re not accepting checks at this time. This person was the highlight of the day, sadly. But, the real sad thing is, is that I’ve had to deal with people worse than her. Yesterday I hung up the phone on a handful of people; I tell the customer, if you don’t stop with the foul language that I will end the call. Usually they stop, but I guess yesterday was the odd day. So, I’ve been dealing with people who have shit for brains and tongue. Such fun.

No concrete plans for the weekend. I had to cancel my plans with Michele about the Bridal Show on Saturday because I forgot I was working (have I mentioned I like money?). This Saturday is also a surprise 50th Birthday Party for my uncle, and I won’t be attending… due to working, and the fact that it’s all the way in La Plata.

Don’t know what I am doing on Sunday, as of yet. The plan a few weeks ago was to get together with Michele in Hagerstown to do the girlie, wedding, stuff, but I don’t know if we’re still on. I’ve sent her a text message but she doesnt’ get out of work until midnight.

I finally remembered what I wanted to ‘think outloud’ about a few posts ago: Getting a new hair cut/style! I’ve been toying with the idea of having my hair done; and I mean more than just a trim/cut. I mean STYLED. But, I am hesitant because I still haven’t decided how I want to do my hair for the wedding pictures, and since I haven’t decided on a style for my wedding pictures, I don’t know if my hair needs to be long, shoulder length, or short.

What I really need to do is stop being so indecisive and just do something.

Who am I kidding?! HA HA HA

So, is anyone else in disbelief that August is half way over as I am?! Um, like WOW! It’s already the 15th of the month, with 16 days left.

AANNDD!!!!

this week marks a WHOLE year that Greg and I have been living together as a family; a mom, dad, and baby all under one roof 24/7/365 (well, 366 since this was a leap year)!

During these past 12 months: Amelia crawled, spoke her first words, took her first steps, cut her first tooth, ate her first ‘real’ foods. Greg and I talked about our future together and became engaged; we celebrated our first Thanksgiving and Christmas together AND with our respective, extended, families (he met mine and I met his), we’ve had our first ‘disagreements’, heart to hearts, and many ‘special moments’. We’ve set future goals and plans together – all in this place we call HOME. It’s been an amazing year and I know the next 12 months are going to be just as amazing as the last twelve!

And with that, I say good night!

Relationships

Ever get the feeling that people aren’t being completely honest?

Last week I informed Adam about the hearing (and to let him know I sent him a copy of the appointment, as required) and asked him when can I expect the $150 from him (as I was paying for this upfront, just like all the other fees for this divorce) and he replied, on the 23rd, with the following:

I have been sick recently and may be going to the hospital again soon. I had an insulin reaction and I think I may have aspirated some vomit. Yuck, I know. I just feel like crude right now and am worried about getting pneumonia again.”

To which I replied with:

Well, since I’ve paid for everything else (filing fee ($105), forms ($35), etc) it would be nice if you could pay for this. I scheduled the hearing for 12/31/07 at 10am. I mailed you the notice on Friday so you should be receiving it soon. I have to pay $150 in cash for the hearing. If you could mail me a check for the $150, that would be great (after all, you’ve been telling me that you were going to mail a check since April).”

And he replies with:

Sorry, I just had a problem with my e-mail and I lost the last message you sent.

I will have to send the Check spread out, I am sorry, but I am dead broke right row.

What is the address?”

In the mean time, I’m thinking how he’s being so full of crap. This boy can’t follow his trail of lies if his life depended on it! Also, it was rather annoying to see that he asked for my address after he’s mailed me the papers how many times? So, I replied with the following:

The address is the same; 2** ***** ****** **, MD

How much are you sending? Keep in mind that I am paying for this upfront (and I have a lot of other expenses, such as daycare, like you do), just like all the other expenses for this divorce and I am expecting you to pay me back (at least the $150 for the hearing).”

After a few hours I receive the following:

“Guess I will be sending you the $150 soon. I have been snowed in and without power for a few days, it came back just in time for New Year’s. Ugh. I hate snow. I am going to try and send my bills out this week.”

I was pretty much done by this point. It was Wednesday (the 2nd) and I asked him when can I expect the check in the mail and he replied that he’ll be mailing his bills out ‘today or tomorrow’, with would have been the 2nd or 3rd. I didn’t reply to his last email. I suppose that if I do receive a check (not really expecting to) that I will let him know it was received. I sent Greg a copy of the emails Adam and I exchanged and Greg feels I shouldn’t be counting on his check either.

What gets me is that he was lying to me and has lied to me numerous times through out this divorce process. I’ve been honest with Adam throughout the time he and I have been together (dating, marriage, and divorce), why would he lie about petty shit like this? What is the point; he knows I know that he’s lying and I’ve called him out on a few of his lies (like when the post office, nor Staples, had envelopes big enough to mail the divorce forms). Also, he’s using his diabetes as a card or excuse as to why he doesn’t have money (“I’m sick and might be going to the hospitalI had an insulin reaction and I think I may have aspirated some vomit”) or as to why he hasn’t been able to do anything.

Adam has become pathetic. He’s abusing his illness to seek sympathy from others or as an excuse as to why he can’t do anything. And that is sad. I’m surprised he hasn’t applied for SS since he’s making himself sound disabled.

I am relieved that I don’t have to put up with his bullshit anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I tried to make him happy and see that he can be a ‘normal’ person with diabetes and live a happy life but he couldn’t accept happiness and I couldn’t accept his bitterness.

It feels amazing to be in a ‘normal’ relationship with someone. There is no schedule to follow as to when we need to eat or how much activity we need or can’t do (because it will affect his sugar levels).

Not that I am opposed to dating someone with diabetes, as most diabetics (type 1or IDDM), now a days, use an insulin pump to maintain and regulate their glucose levels and are pretty much able to live a ‘normal’ schedule free lifestyle. I have no problems adjusting my diet to meet their needs (that’s how I became a diet soda drinker and haven’t gone back to regular soda in nearly 10 years; same for juices and some desserts) and so forth.

The relationship with Adam, looking back, was very challenging. And I stuck with it for nearly 10 years and  thought that I could accept and live with this life style (the constant mood swings from him, his inability to keep a job, me working two jobs to maintain a home for us, his deep unhappy and bitterness outlook on life) and had a slight hope that maybe I would be the person that could make him feel happy (and his sister once told me that no one in his family thought that anyone would marry him because of his temperament and other small things) and move on with his personal hate about being a diabetic. I guess I failed in that sense. But, it was a good failure because I did learn a lot about what is important to me; how I have to learn to do things for myself and not for others; to put my needs first and if I need to be happy then I need to do what it takes to make me happy – which is what I learned in late 2004. I asked Adam to leave at the end of our lease (which was May 2005) with no intentions of continuing our marriage. The relationship wasn’t a complete nightmare; we did have a few memorable times, such as when we went to Boston in Aug. 98, the three HFStivals we attended, when he treated me to a Penn and Teller show at the Lyric Opera House for my birthday, going to the movies together and the drive through Hunt Valley/ Cockeysville on summer nights. It’s the emotional aspect of the relationship that had the biggest affect and it was too much for me to continue with the relationship.

The only regret that I have about the relationship with Adam is that I didn’t listen to my heart/gut/instinct. I wasn’t in-love with Adam and I wasn’t happy. I knew, deep down inside, that we weren’t soul mates but I didn’t listen; I wanted to prove myself, and others, that ‘they’ were wrong.  I was being naive, stubborn and hard-headed and I paid the price, so to speak. As ‘they’ say, “We learn from our mistakes.”

As for my current relationship with Greg, there’s a night and day difference. I don’t think I’ve ever been as happy as I am now and Greg feels the same. We’ve both discussed our last significant relationships and compared them to ours and we both agree that what we have now is completely different than what we’ve had in the past. There is no second guessing the true, deep, meaningful love that we have for each other; the amazing connection we feel; the fact that we were meant to be with each other. There is no denying, no ‘what if’, no doubt that we will be together until ‘death do us part’.

I wrote earlier, I think, (if not, I’ve been thinking about it) that I am slightly hesitant about marrying again. I don’t want to go through another divorce, especially with Greg as we already have so much invested together. But, the more I think about Greg and the life that we’ve created together (more than metaphorically speaking); I can only see things, in life, getting better. Greg and I have discussed what new car we’re going to buy (Nissan Rogue); the type of furniture for the bedroom (reason for our possible Ikea trip this weekend); and where we would like to settle down and buy our first house, the most amazing thing about all this is that Greg and I have the same interests, ideas, goals, thoughts and feelings about all these important steps we’re going to make. There is absolutely no compromise for us (except maybe color of the car); neither one of us has to give up something to make the other happy. This is an amazing feeling for us. We’re on the same, exact, page for every important decision, purchase, or discussion. The only two items that are ‘issues’, and they’ve been mentioned many time before, are my diving habits and Greg’s lack for being punctual (though we’ve both improved some).

I don’t believe Greg and I have ever had a fight; neither of us has slept in another room because we were angry at each other or other things of the sort. We’ve had minor disagreements about actions one of us have done but nothing to the point that we fought over it. This is going back to the very beginning of our friendship.

I remember my first fight/argument with Adam. We were 6 months into our relationship and we were on vacation in Boston (where we stayed with my Uncle). It was towards the end of the trip and we were getting ready to go into the city (we stayed in Canton , Ma and had to take a train to Boston ) and Adam was telling me to hurry up. I was in the shower shaving my legs and he was being so adamant about the time that I only shaved one leg and got out to get dressed. After I was dressed and ready to go he decides to shave his face! I was very angry at him and told him he could have shaved while I was in the shower!! So, I just left and headed to the train station (we walked to the train station – it was about a mile, give or take). If he made it on time then good for him, if not it wasn’t my fault. He made it on time.

Greg and I have been ‘together’ (friendship and all) since Aug. 20, 2005 with no arguments like the ones I’ve had with Adam. We’ve had no conflicts; no opposing beliefs on how to raise children (and now Amelia); nothing that would cause us to go our separate ways.

We’re Engaged!!!

Oh my God!!! Today was one of the best days I’ve ever had!

Greg asked me to marry him and I said yes!!! We’re engaged!!!

Engagement Ring

Here’s how Greg proposed to me:

 This afternoon, when Van got back from running a few errands we opened our Christmas presents. The last present I opened was from Greg. It was a pretty good sized box was it was light, so I was curious. I opened the box and within was another box, also light. I opened that box and then there was ANOTHER box! The third box had a bow on it, I took off the bow, opened it up expecting to see a ring box, but to my surprise there was a AA battery!! I was like… what?!? 

and I looked up at Greg (because I was sitting on the floor and he was standing next to me) and he was getting down on one knee, opening a box with an engagement ring inside – the one I loved at the jewelry store – and Greg said:

“We’ve had some amazing times together and I would like you to be with me for the rest of our adventures in life. Will you marry me?”

All of this was done in front of my family; my brother, Mom, Amelia, and Van!!!

I was so speechless that all I could do was nod!

And, I was so excited I took the ring out of the box and put it on myself!

My Mom was crying, I was tearing up and even Van had a few tears running down his cheek!!

 I was so caught up in the moment that I didn’t see the note that Greg wrote inside the box where the battery was: 

Love Note 

If you know Greg, then you know he’s into video games, especially Mario Bros. (we’re saving up for a Wii) and the note is in reference to Mario rescuing the Princess from the castle; so it would have said (if we were in a Mario game) “Sorry Mario, your Princess is in another castle”.

 This is so amazing! I’M ENGAGED!!

We’re Engaged!!!

Oh my God!!! Today was one of the best days I’ve ever had!

Greg asked me to marry him and I said yes!!! We’re engaged!!!

Engagement Ring

Here’s how Greg proposed to me:

 This afternoon, when Van got back from running a few errands we opened our Christmas presents. The last present I opened was from Greg. It was a pretty good sized box was it was light, so I was curious. I opened the box and within was another box, also light. I opened that box and then there was ANOTHER box! The third box had a bow on it, I took off the bow, opened it up expecting to see a ring box, but to my surprise there was a AA battery!! I was like… what?!? 

and I looked up at Greg (because I was sitting on the floor and he was standing next to me) and he was getting down on one knee, opening a box with an engagement ring inside – the one I loved at the jewelry store – and Greg said:

“We’ve had some amazing times together and I would like you to be with me for the rest of our adventures in life. Will you marry me?”

All of this was done in front of my family; my brother, Mom, Amelia, and Van!!!

I was so speechless that all I could do was nod!

And, I was so excited I took the ring out of the box and put it on myself!

My Mom was crying, I was tearing up and even Van had a few tears running down his cheek!!

 I was so caught up in the moment that I didn’t see the note that Greg wrote inside the box where the battery was: 

Love Note 

If you know Greg, then you know he’s into video games, especially Mario Bros. (we’re saving up for a Wii) and the note is in reference to Mario rescuing the Princess from the castle; so it would have said (if we were in a Mario game) “Sorry Mario, your Princess is in another castle”.

 This is so amazing! I’M ENGAGED!!