Bored and Blogging

Oy! What a weekend… Amelia was cranky the entire weekend and that confused Greg and me until we noticed that she’s drooling excessively and has shown signs that her ear is hurting (by cupping her hand over her ear), but she doesn’t have a fever; we’re assuming her crankiness is due to another tooth pushing through (thus the reason for her earache), but if her symptoms of the earache don’t improve then I’m going to call her pediatrician.  

Otherwise, our Sunday went like this… 

Sadly, I don’t remember how the morning started so I will start with Costco. Greg and I did some serious shopping and renewed our membership (I remember the night I went to Costco to open a membership; it was my first week back at work and Amelia was just about 6 weeks old). We bought Amelia a new dress for the spring/summer – she picked it out. The size we bought was 18 mos. (which she’ll be in July) because we figure she’ll be wearing that size by then. That dress has been the first thing we bought for Amelia since November and in a size she’ll be wearing in the future, which got me wondering about clothing between 12 months and 18 months: I don’t think there is a size in between. I’m used to clothing for Amelia being between age ranges: 0-3 mos, 3-6 mos, 6-9 mos and then 12 mos – that made the first year of shopping easy but what happens once you reach and pass 12 months; I haven’t seen any clothing for 12-15 mos? Maybe toddlers don’t change much from 12 to 18 months? Maybe I’m over thinking this and I’m sure I’ll learn how the clothing works once it’s time to buy her new clothes. 

Continuing with the Costco shopping… It’s so cool to open the freezer and see it stuffed with food! And, surprisingly (as it was something we intended to buy) we didn’t buy a single microwaveable meal. I (since I am the one that cooks most of our dinners) picked out our meats (hamburger, pork chops, and round eye roasts) and planned what to use them for. And, to try something different, I bought a chunk of beef tip for dinner (Sunday’s dinner). To make a long, detailed, story short, we spent about two hours and $275 dollars (including the renewal fee).  

I must mention the best thing Greg and I bought the weekend we went to Ikea – the .59 jumbo blue bag because that one little bag carried so much and made transporting all the items from Costco to our condo so much easier (for Greg) to carry up three flights of stairs. 

Once we were home (I’m debating if I want to talk about the stinkiest, messiest, worst diaper I’ve ever changed in my entire life. For the first time I was literally gaging from the smell of what came out of Amelia), we put the food away and I separated the meats for individual use (l learned my lesson with a package of chicken from Giant last week; it’s incredibly difficult to take apart chicken breasts when they’re brick hard).

Yeah, boring day – huh? 

Let’s see, it was about 3pm when we made it home and Amelia went down for a nap at 4 (thankfully) and slept until 5:50! During that time Greg started to organize all his ‘stuff’; we bought a bookcase on Saturday and Greg assembled it and was determined to put the books and other stuff that was taking up space in his closet onto the bookcase. I continued with the laundry and just vegged on the couch.  

Around 6pm I being dinner by placing the hunk of beef tip in the oven and begin working on the Anniversary Weekend post. 

Around 7pm I start working on the other items for dinner (rolls and mashed potatoes) while Greg gives Amelia her bath. 

Around 7:45 my mom calls and we chat for a bit while I watched Amelia so Greg could eat dinner. Amelia kept trying to take the phone from me to talk to Nana Sue and would end up pushing buttons or hanging up (just once).  

Dinner was fabulous! Greg said that was the best steak he’s ever had – ever! And he’s right. The steak was so soft and buttery; it was juicy and full of flavor and just amazing. That has to be, hands down, the best meal I’ve cooked since living in the condo (I am a charcoal grill cooker and I’ve cooked some damn good roasts and hamburgers in my time). 

Around 8:30 we tried to put Amelia to bed but we were having the same problem as Saturday night: she just couldn’t fall asleep; she would lay in her crib and talk.

Eventually she fell asleep (around 9:00) and I focused on completing the Anniversary Weekend post and Greg set to go through his closet and all his tubs.  

Greg, if you recall me mentioning, is a pack rat to the umpteenth degree. When we started packing in June he had about 8 storage tubs full of stuff from the last 10+ years. Some things I can understand why he saved them: high school photo, tassel, and mug; memorabilia from MicroProse (his first real job that he loved); a few travel related things and tickets, cards from his 21st birthday, some random items (such as a name tag) from his old friends Doug and Jeff, and a few pictures from when he went to Disney World (just the pictures of him with a few characters; no pictures of his ex). Except Greg has magazines, game boxes, pay stubs, bank statements from when he lived in upstate NY, newspapers, and so much more stuffed into these tubs! His ‘collection’ continues into my closet as well. The last time Greg went through his ‘memory tubs’, he consolidated everything into 3 tubs and last night he’s down to a shoebox for the ‘most important’ stuff and about a half of a tub for the ‘just because’ stuff. I’m proud of him for ‘letting go’ of some of this stuff; it was hard for him to ask himself if he really needed to hold onto some things (magazines, game boxes, etc).  

Um, yeah… we were up until 1:30am. It took me forever to finish the Anniversary Weekend post and I was tempted to stop around 11:30 with the intent to finish later (knowing that I probably wouldn’t even think about it for at least another week – if that) but decided that I made it this far (by this point I was working on the Assateague Island portion of the post) I might as well finish. 

That was my Sunday. 

Monday has been a whole hell of a lot easier (compared to previous Mondays)! I brought in my newest wedding magazine (that was purchased at Target on Saturday and Amelia has since nearly destroyed) and a book, Painless Grammar by Rebecca Elliott, Ph.D. (that I bought at Costco). The magazine provided visual stimulation and the book provided mental stimulation (I wouldn’t hold my breath expecting to see perfect grammar in my posts from this moment on). The book is well written and I am enjoying it; it’s like a little refresher course in English 111, and when I feel that I am capable of taking on a college course in English at least I be able to understand some parts of proper grammar (since I am thinking about taking English 111, online, at the local community college and then move onto creative writing). 

I sent an email to Denise with our flight information and she sounded pretty excited about our upcoming visit. We talked about things Amelia will need while in Michigan (car seat, highchair, stroller, etc) because her friend owns a baby (supply) rental business; clever business to start – I would never have thought about renting items for a baby. I wonder how successful her business is… 

Greg and I have been exchanging emails throughout the day as well; we’ve talked about our Michigan trip, cruise reservations (we haven’t booked, yet), weekend plans since Pat (one of Greg’s younger brothers) has made it home for leave, and just general chit chat. 

Earlier today I was in a review meeting (held monthly) and realized, as I was about sign my name that I need to start using my maiden name. That realization felt so weird to me and I didn’t know how to sign my name! I ended up using the current (though my name has been officially changed at work) and then moving forward I will use my maiden name. When I got out of the review meeting I started ‘practicing’ signing my maiden name. And then, during my lunch hour, I called my bank and credit cards to have my name changed. Now, I just need to go to the MVA to change my name on my license and I have a feeling that is going to be a little more time consuming.  

Thursday, the 21st, Greg and I are going to fill out the paper work and apply for our passports. I can’t believe how much these things cost, but at the same time they’re good for 10 years. I wonder how long it’s going to take for us to physically receive the passports; do we have to pick them up at the post off when they’re ready or will they come in the mail? Guess I’ll find out on Thursday. 

At least I feel the day was productive.

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Mind Musings

I have so many thoughts going through my mind!

  • I’m thinking about my upcoming divorce hearing and saying good bye to Adam (mentally);
  • The odd dream I had last night about Greg’s ex;
  • Wedding stuff, mainly finding our site for the ceremony and reception;
  • The slow realization that Greg is going to be my future husband;
  • Van’s offer to pay for my tuition so I can finish my medical assisting/nursing certification/degree;
  • And much more…

Mainly, I am thinking about my wedding and divorce with little bits of the dream I had last night; which I’ll start off with first…

Last night, I dreamt that Greg and I were living with his ex temporarily. It was very awkward for me in the dream, even though we (Greg’s ex and I) were rarely home at the same time. Then, at some point in the dream, the exes sister spies on me and tells the ex what I’ve been doing (supposedly) and then the ex leaves all these notes around the house for me (and they weren’t very positive notes). The same day I discovered the notes around the house, she comes home while I am there and I confront her about the stuff she’s writing to me. And, somehow, after talking about everything we become friends. And, I recall thinking in the dream how odd it felt realizing that we’ve basically ‘made up’ and were actually talking as friends. Very strange dream, no?

My second thought is about saying good bye, permanently, to Adam.  Honestly, I am not that upset about saying good bye as I have no emotional attachment to him what-so-ever; but I thought I would be able to send an email every once in a blue moon to say ‘Hi’ and see what he’s up to (just as I’ve done since 2005 when he moved out). But, I confronted him (via email as that’s the only means of communication I have to him) about the impression I had that he doesn’t want to be hearing from me for non divorce related stuff. You see, I’ve always remained friends with all my exes, even if I started a new relationship or if they started a new relationship; it just wasn’t odd to me. But, Adam is different; he’s a very private person and even though I’m not asking him private questions, I got the feeling that he doesn’t want to be hearing from me after the divorce. Which, as I’ve mentioned, is fine. After all, we need to close certain chapters from our past and move on to start the new chapters. I don’t think I’ll ‘miss’ him in any sense. I guess, in a sense, I received closure from him when he, more or less, confirmed what I thought. So, that is that.

Now, onto the wedding stuff! Last night I bought my first wedding magazine!! I bought the winter edition of The Knot, the magazine version of the website for things in the DC, VA, MD area. And, today, I read that magazine from cover to cover! I highlighted things of interest and worth looking into and checked out a few vendors and potential wedding/ceremony websites.

Even though, as of today, I have 653 days until my wedding, I want to pick out my location; and it’s slightly difficult because I don’t know how many guests we’re going to invite vs. attend. Greg thinks we’ll easily have 150 attendees; I think he’s wrong. Plus, if we have a wedding with that many guests, it’s really going to be financially stressful for us (I, without mentioning anything to my family – as in asking, am not expecting help from our families for our wedding, especially since I’m a repeat bride (sorta)). I am expecting something smaller, like around 75 guests. The second topic of discussion is where to host our wedding and reception. Greg said he wants to do something exotic and feels that if we hold our wedding and reception at a park, that it’s too traditional. Greg and I view the word ‘traditional’ in terms of a wedding completely different; to me, a traditional wedding is a wedding that is held in a church and the reception in a banquet hall. So far, Greg and I have added Ripkin Stadiumas a possible ceremony/reception site. My Mom, on the other hand, would like us to have our wedding reception (as least) at her house. Granted, there are 20 acres to fit everyone, and there is a small beach where we could have the bon fire, but I feel it would be too much of a drive for everyone, and that there are no hotels near by for the guests (since EVERYONE would need a hotel room); if Mom lived closer, then I would seriously consider it (after all, my other wedding reception was held at home in Churchton). I believe the planning would be easier on me if I knew how much money I had to work with. But, I want to know how much everything is going to cost before I set my budget… it feels like I’m in a ‘catch 22’ regarding this part of the planning. Eh, as Greg says, we have plenty of time. Oh, and another item we dicussed was our “save the date” notices – we’re going to send them out this summer. We’re thinking magnets so everyone can put it on the fridge and, hopefully, not forget.

So, not too much going on.

Although, I really should be planning Amelia’s First Birthday Party, as I only have 2 weeks (eek!!). Guess Greg and I will work on that this weekend…

Looking for Me?

I was uber busy at work today; not doing actual work though. I was in two long ass meetings (though entertaining) that equalled half my work day. I honestly love days like this! And, when I wasn’t in a meeting I was working on refund requests which requires a lot of research and math (especially percentages).

Otherwise, all is well.

Oh! I’ve forgotten to mention!!  Amelia’s two upper teeth are in. She has four teeth coming in at the same time! Surprisingly, she’s not all that cranky or drooly.

Tonight I showed Greg something that freaked him out; Amelia will walk with a walker and walk down the hall or until she hits something. Amelia is going to be running around the place in a matter or weeks (probably). Greg said something along the lines of “She’s no longer going to be a baby…” and I told him “We could start working on number two…” and he laughed at me. Greg and I are planning on having more children but later – like when Amelia is in school.

I found my list of things I was looking forward to and goals that I wrote back on April 16; here it is:

Things I am looking forward to (in no particular order):

  1. Amelia’s laugh (now I hear it everyday)
  2. My first Mother’s Day (hope Greg remembers) (He did)
  3. Greg and I moving in together and being a real, whole, family (I’m loving every day we’re together)
  4. Greg’s first Father’s Day (awesome day seeing the O’s play)
  5. First Orioles game where we, Greg, Amelia, and I, attend as a family (which we did on Father’s Day)
  6. Amelia’s first crawl (Amelia was just under 8 mos old when she started crawling)
  7. Amelia’s first words (DaDa, Dad, Bye, Uh-oh)
  8. Amelia’s first taste of ‘real’ food (including jar food) (And she loves everything including pickels)
  9. No longer being a temp and receive a perminate job (accomplished in May)

Goals for the remainder of 2007 (also in no particular order):

  1. Buy a laptop (hoping to get one as a Christmas gift)
  2. Find a place to live (check)
  3. Get all major repairs to my car done (tune-up, brakes, alignment, etc) (Did better – got a new car!)
  4. Have a thousand dollars in a savings account (only item I haven’t completed. This will probably be a goal for 2008)
  5. Buy a new car (but, this is more like a goal for 2008) (did this in June!)

Goals for 5 years:

  1. Compelte my Degree (only 2 classes to go)
  2. Work in the medical setting
  3. Have a place to call my own (either house, townhouse, or condo)

When I made that list, Amelia was 3 months old. In the time frame of 7 months, I have been able to achieve a lot of these goals and see many firsts. Wow, it’s only been 7 months since I wrote this list! The time has flown by so quickly but in a good way.

Bits and Pieces

I have so much on mind right now:

  • Do we head up to Hagerstown and visit Michele and do some window/Holiday shopping at the Outlets;
  • Do we head up to Hunt Valley , again, and look at all the Christmas decorations at Valley View Farms;
  • When is Greg’s ‘letter’ going to arrive in the mail;
  • What are the plans for Christmas? Whose family are we going to visit/spend time with;
  • What are Greg and I going to do from the 19th through 21st; are we going to Delaware

And, then there is all the excitement regarding Adam finally returning the divorce papers with the signature in the proper location (which I forgot to bring to work today so I could make a copy and mail everything out)!!! I am hoping that I will be a divorcee by Christmas because that means I can start 2008 ‘free’ from all the divorce stress and ‘free’ from anything related to Adam, and pretty much a ‘free’ person again. Also, I get my maiden name back (only to give it up, again, in about a year).

To me, this divorce is like an accomplishment. I’ve accomplished true happiness and to learn and feel true love. Sappy, I know, but this is what I am feeling. I have worked hard all of my life and in the relationship that Adam and I had, and I don’t mean just physical work, but mostly emotional. I’m sure I’ve mentioned before about how challenging my childhood was (which was one reason I wanted to put Amelia up for adoption – so she wouldn’t have to go through what I did) and how much work my Mom did (again, not just physical) to support my brother and me. A lot of work, and if you’ve grown up like me, you’ll understand. Don’t get me wrong, I like to work hard for the things that mean a lot to me. Yes, there are the times that I get frustrated and depressed that the ‘work’ keeps piling up (or so it feels at times), but that’s just life. And I honestly wouldn’t want it any other way. I want to feel successful in my accomplishments and challenges; rather than have them resolved by someone else. Everyone learns better, in my opinion, by dealing with life yourself.

I see others out there who seem to have the ‘perfect’ life; they don’t have money worries, they get to buy whatever they want whenever they want (which means it has less meaning to them, in my opinion); they show off their popularity (well, supposed popularity – sometimes these friends seem fake); and brag a lot about the most petty things (again, in my opinion). And, it makes me wonder if these people feel accomplished or proud of their life. I’m sure if I were to ask them they would say yes, but I bet deep down inside they will question themselves.

I guess I’m saying that I am starting to feel proud of the choices I’ve made in my nearly 29 years of life, even the ones that I wish I could have changed. I have been through Hell, many times (have a frequent visitor pass) and I’ve always made it out. And, at this moment in my life, I don’t think I’ll be returning, ever again. As they say, “Everything happens for a reason” or “When one door closes, another one opens”, and even though I argue those sayings and don’t believe in them 100% of the time (a partial realist here), it does give me the hope that maybe those sayings will relate to me one day.

Two Weeks Plus More

In two weeks, it’ll be Thanksgiving.

In two weeks, I’ll have a mini-vacation (with no travel plans, yet).

In two weeks, I can do as much shopping as my feet will allow!

Needless to say, I can not wait until the week of the 19th!

Oh, and just so you know, the previous post was written by Greg. He’s all about himself.

In other news…

Work is going. Lisa is adjusting very well. Since she sits right next to me I am able to help her, a lot. Plus, it’s so nice to be able to joke around and remember the PRP days. I forgot how good it is to gossip; at least I don’t have to worry about PRP people hearing anything since we don’t really talk to anyone else on a regular basis.

We still don’t have our Christmas plans confirmed. We’re waiting to hear back from a few people to see where they’re going to be and such.

I got a new credit card today! I’m surprised that Capital One gave me another card! Granted, my auto loan is through them and the old accounts have been paid off for many years (and closed), but when I applied this time last year they declined me and now they asked me to apply (and was approved). I did activate the account but still hesitant about using the card, especially with all the Christmas shopping that I am getting excited about doing. It’s just too tempting to use the card for everything. But, at the same time I have 0% interest and I could pay off the card with one commission check and go from there. I don’t know, though, I am finally getting my credit back in order and I don’t want to fuck it up again. But, then again, my life is a lot better now that it was five (and more) years ago; my financial status is much better than what it used to be even though my debit is more than what it used to be. So many twists in life and credit.

So, I’ve begun to think about Amelia’s First Birthday and what to do, who to invite, and if I should combine the party with my birthday (29th) and our housewarming. I haven’t gotten very far in the thinking process, but a few thoughts have come across my mind.

Anyway, the pizza and wings are here and I am very hungry. So, at this time I am going to leave and watch “How I Met Your Mother” with Greg.